The stress of looking after mum has now taken its toll on me.


On tuesday I spent the whole morning cleaning the whole house and stressed out with the amount of dirty washing that mum was flinging around the place anyway I later went shopping and a break came back 2 hrs later and the house was a mess again.

I sat down and cried then I got pins and needles in my left arm then my face went all tingly?

I called my brother and ended up in Emergency all night waiting to be checked out.

After several hours and blood tests they ordered a CT scan then the shock of my life id had a TIA (mini stroke)?

I am still trying to come to terms with this and am still in shock im only 47 I have to go to hospital next week now for tests and take aspirin for life.

How did I get here how has this come to this? Im so scared for my life now as a second stroke is highly likely.

My family asked what did the doc say to do I said Fck what the doc said mum needs to go into home I cannot do this anymore and put the phone down NOTHING SINCE?

Im here now TRYING to take it easy and come to terms with whats happened and mum demanding as ever and stressing me out im done I will start to look for a NH asap

Im sorry to depress yee all but this is what comes from trying to care for a dementia parent with no support.

Has anyone ever had a mini stroke? Of course ive stopped smoking and will have to take care of myself now.

So scared about being able to cope now living with mum?

So down and so fed up really thought things were going to go well for me this year?
Any advice?

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Cheers pz will ask my doc. Over a million people have given up here in Ireland and are using the fake vapour cigs NOW the EU has said that we dont know enough about this nicotine only and they want more research done? Also the bars here are now banning these vapour smokes as it annoys the other customers GOD are we ever happy?
The world has gone mad and more and more picky about everything maybe we were better off when we knew nothing and there was NO health and bloody safety its all getting a bit too much now.

If you are trying to quit try the old school drug Zyban (wellbutern) it is cheap and work well for most people. Worked for me. Chantix has dreadful side effects. I am also a fan of Jelly Belly jelly beans, or skittles! just chomp on one when you feel the need for a "fag". !!

Gosh pamz smoking is a big no no your mother has been lucky. We all get warnings I think and this is mine. I am dying here for a ciggy BUT I just think of being paralysed and the craving goes i know this is a bit extreme but its helping me stay off the fags!!
Ive been trying to give up anyway as they are so expensive here (10 dollars a pack) im now going to spend the money i save on dinners out and "the beauty parlour" as you guys call it!!!
Ive booked a dentist apt to get my teeth cleaned and then the week after im having an antiaging facial you have to treat yourself every week to keep you motivated!
Trying to stop smoking and looking after your mum is not going to be easy my cigs were my friend my outlet so this will be hard but the thoughts of a stroke is very scary.
Your mum as we say here is just "jammy" she could have had a major stroke.

As to the Not driving.. no Dr I know reports TIAs to the DMV, your own Dr will counsil you on this I work in a Neuro ICU, and have never heard of this. Seizure disorders..YES. A TIA is not a seizure disorder. You may Choose to stop driving, but it's not a normal manditory thing. My Mom drove fine until she gave it up recently on her own. So don't stress over that at this point

Thanks guys I will ring the nurse tomorrow as she did say that there is emergency respite if I needed it. She may be taken in for 2wks.
Im so down and just cant look at her right now she knows what happened but still this is the horrible part of dementia she has no idea how much stress she causes? I am trying so hard not to stress out and as you all know its so hard to keep your cool.
I spent the last 2 nights with a friend my brother stayed here with mum I havnt slept with worry I will be so relieved when shes in respite i am screaming out now for a break from her.
Then I feel guilty as I know its not her fault and she dosnt understand why I have to be away from her for awhile.
Yes her doctor will have to talk to her i made an apt for her to see him today and she rang behind my back and cancelled it? I will call him tomorrow and explain whats happened im done talking to her and family I need professional help now and her doc to talk to her also regarding POA this has to be done as she is blowing all her money and paying no heed to bills direct debits etc.. and I can do nothing without POA.
Oh my god what stress but I must remain calm for my own health. A psychic told me last year "your mum needs to go into a home or you will get seriously ill" well she was right and here I am.
They say a TIA is a warning of a bigger stroke and this is very frightening but am doing all i can to prevent one.
I am lucky?? that I dont have high blood pressure or diabetes so i may just have averted a stroke and will be attending a clinic every week.
Its a wakeup call for me and my family the phones been ringing all night but im not answering one patronising comment and ill explode!
As I always say thankgod for this website and the kind caring people who just know what youre going through.

PS my guy never phoned maybe wasnt meant to be OR he may call one day when im less stressed and in better health yes not the time to date!

My mother had a TIA (at least one) about 15 years ago. Kept smoking, etc. Then after she got out of rehab she had one here. Back to "normal" within a few minutes. Back to smoking within a few weeks. I wish I could get her to quit, but good luck with that. What I am getting to is this is scarey but not an automatic death sentence .You are doing the right things, take care of yourself and do what you need to to feel better.Wishing you all the best!

You said all the things that are the best treatments, kazzaa. Lower the stress, take aspirin, drink water, avoid nicotine, exercise, eat right. TIAs are often a warning that we need to change what we're doing. It sounds like you're doing that, so all you can do now is kick back and relax. I hope you can find a good place for your mother quickly and with no stress.

Yes , Mum needs to go into a home. Most states will tell you not to drive if you have a history of TIA's. Call Mums doctor and get him to order her into rehab or respite until you have this sorted out.

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