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I have a brother who is generally missing in action with the care of my parents. He told me that I spoil our parents too much by taking Mom to all of her medical appts. I am sick and tired of him knowing all the answers but not being there to help. So I stood my ground and told him that it is much easier to take Mom to all her appts and get the doctor's orders straight the first time round than trying to sort out who said what afterwards seeing Dad is getting deaf and Mom has early vascular dementia.

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JessieBelle wrote: "They may rationalize that the parent could do it themselves, so they don't want to step in. When another person steps in, they criticize because it goes against what they were thinking when it comes to themselves." I think there is a lot of truth to this statement!
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Thanks all for your support. It means a lot in a sometimes overwhelming task. This morning my mom called confused as to what to do with a cancelled appointment (due to weather). My dad picked up the phone probably didn't hear properly what was told him. He hung up the phone without saying anything to my mother. So my mother calls to ask me to sort it all out. This is exactly my life and my brother hasn't a clue...not the faintest clue....
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caring2, I know what you mean. I remember back when I would take both my parents to the same doctor, appointments back to back, and I would sit in on the appointment....

On the way home, I could hear my parents talking in the back seat about their appointment.... good grief, from what I was hearing, it sounded like I was in the Twilight Zone as their remembrance was far different than what I heard :P
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I think I might ask him to take mom to one of her appointments. It might be an eye opener for him to hear what she 'thinks' the doctor said.
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Good for you. Siblings can scoff at what we do sometimes because they don't want to do them. They may rationalize that the parent could do it themselves, so they don't want to step in. When another person steps in, they criticize because it goes against what they were thinking when it comes to themselves. I agree with you that going to the doctor with them can be very good knowledge firsthand. If we wait to hear what the doctor said from our parent, then it might not be quite right. Older memories are not infallible, particularly if there is any cognitive decline. It also helps for a family member to be there to let the doctor know what is really going on. The patient often showtimes for a doctor and acts like they're doing fine. If a caregiver is there, they can let the doctor know the truth.
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