Well no word yet on a decision from Medicare if they’ll admit mom to a rehab from home. Not doing a direct admit was a huge mistake but she being of sound mind, I couldn’t force her. It’s been almost 2 months now and she still needs ADL assistance and can’t or won’t walk without someone there.
The caregiver we we found is a gem, she was a health care worker in her home country and is working with mom to try and get her up and going again. But, I’m beginning to fail myself.
Yesterday I went to urgent care for an irregular heartbeat and shortness of breath. The PA determined it was stress from all this but if it happened again I had to go to the ER.
So then it hit me. I’m getting sick while mom is “getting well.” You know that sound brakes and tires make when they screech to a halt?...
Last night when I relieved the caregiver I told her, “You’re going to have to eat lunch earlier so I can get your dinner earlier and get home. I’m not sleeping or eating well because of this.” She agreed and said she would.
Today I have to let her know that if SNF says no, the caregiver arrangements have to start at a time that I can get back to work on time. I’ve been delaying my work hours to try and save her money. I started worrying that she’s going to put this all back on me when she can no longer afford the caregiver. Because, she will. That’s when my heart went wonky.
I've tried this and I’ve tried that and regrettably there’s one person that isn’t trying at all. “I can walk,” she’ll say, but not alone, not unless someone has her by the belt, not without someone being in the next room... That’s. Not. Walking.
And I told her that. She seemed puzzled.
Shes afraid of falling but won’t do anything to learn to empower herself against falls.
I'm not having a heart episode because of this. I won’t let that happen.
thanks as always for listening.