Still counting down the days. I keep falling back on old ways of hoping we can heal.

Stay strong FOR YOU! When she gives you those "loving words", say nothing or if you have to say anything then say something noncommittal like, "That's understandable. Moving is hard, but it's temporary."

As you wrote earlier, "I had a moment of weakness..." That's understandable!

Stand your ground. Come back to us whenever you need a shot of "You're on the right track. We're here for you!" *hug*

Go with your dreams. If you want to relocate, then do it. She will be OK and if not, someone will take care of her even if its the State.

Stop trying to "mend fences". This woman does not know how to love. She should have never had children. Let her move back into her apartment and NEVER allow her to stay with you again. People like her don't change. They are wired differently. You need to back away and move on. Please, don't torture yourself. Live the life you want.

Lealonnie1, you made me laugh a little. My dream is to go to Australia. oh well. Yes, my counselor has heard these laments and she will again. She says its best she moves out. As I said in the original post-I had a moment of weakness when she was being nice.

Buser,

I have been thinking about your post since I posted earlier. I think you should remove yourself entirely if she mistreats you again. I know that deep down you care. I understand that. Only do what you feel is necessary from a distance.

Please don’t make yourself so available to her. You are not her doormat so she can walk all over you. She hasn’t shown you respect. You can have self respect. Do you see what I mean?

Take care.

You've been counting the days till mother moves out. Now you tell her she can STAY? Did I understand that correctly? If so, it sounds like not only does SHE need to move out, but YOU need to move overseas once she does!
Please get some counseling to learn how to disentangle yourself from this relationship so you can have your own healthy life. You deserve to

Buser,

I get that. Transitional times are hard. It’s a period of adjustment but I still say you will make it through this.

Lean on others until you are strong enough to stand on your own. There is no shame in that.

True she does.

No, it doesn't really surprise me. I am just worried about this transition even with all the mess she puts me through.
thank you for the kudos.

Wow, Buser

I am sorry. That wasn’t very nice at all. She seems to need validation for herself, with no concerns for your feelings. A loving person knows when to shut up and not say everything on their mind.

May I ask you a question please? Does this really surprise you? I mean, you know her character. I realize that doesn’t make it hurt any less but as the old saying goes, ‘Consider the source.’

Take care, Buser. You’re going to get through this and be better for it. There is an adjustment period but we are here for you.

She certainly knows how to manipulate you and plays on your weaknesses.

Her moving is not the end of the world, don't blow it out of proportion.

The positive is that you will have stood your ground.

I don't know how to explain it. We were coming back from the store and talking about her apartment etc, she goes over there every day to 'check the mail' and she said really nice like that she wants to stay with me and not move. So I said well look you already have everything lined up to go and all there is to do is move back in. I asked her 'why' she wanted to stay with me and she said I was so nice to her.
So today I said if you want to stay with me you can (like I said a moment of weakness because she was saying how I take good care of her) and she says oh no I was just joking I'm going to move on. And her classic was she just wanted to see what I'd say.
You know she was just picking my brain.
Anyway, I got a little weepy and she said are you crying?

That kind of thing.
She is good at what she does. And you can never win.
I meant to reply to you Need.

I’m sorry for your pain. Your post is vague though. Stay? Leave? Please explain.