Special memories of our LO's... Before.


I was looking at my Mom sleep, I looked at her little wrinkled hands and thought how hard they've worked over the years.

I thought about them changing my diapers, curling my hair, wiping my tears away and holding me close. I thought about all the grandkids she rocked, bathed and loved. And the patience, smiles and humor with which, she taught us how to raise them.

This brought me to another thought. Just how private she was/is and how humiliated she'd feel if she knew how I told so many strangers, of her late in life struggles.

But I totally believe in people helping people. Sharing our invaluable, experience, strength and hope, compassion, frustrations and grief. In short, I need you guys and I, like you, am not afraid to ask for help. :)

Having said that, our LO's were more then just demented, confused, clueless souls. They lived amazing lives! Even if they were only amazing to us.

So this thread goes beyond the Pampers, poopies, non bathing issues. Beyond the baffling insurance, medical, boundaries and NH questions.

It's a love thread. What was your LO like before? Share a special memory.

Did your Mom forgo meals so you kids could eat? Did your dad teach you something you treasure and utilize to this day? Did your husband work a crappy job to feed the family? Did your auntie put a little light in your world when things weren't so good at home?

Whatever you're proud of, whatever you feel made you're LO awesome....share!
I, for one, would love to know!



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I just want to thank Pepsee for starting this conversation because all to often, in this hectic world in which we live, we don’t stop and think about those who have gone before us. I could write a book about my Dad and another one about my husband. And I journal about my wonderful loving, caring, self-sacrificing mother who suffers on her journey to paradise but never complains. God bless you, Pepsee, and God bless everyone, everywhere!

I'll post since I'm already bawling. I might as well bawl even harder.

There are so many fond memories I have of my dearest Mom. Trying to pick just one would be too hard.

I have lots of memories of laughing so hard with her. When I was a teenager I was awkward and insecure, didn't have many friends, got bullied a lot. So Mom and I would go coffee shop hopping. We'd have coffee at one place and then drive a little further and have coffee at another. Then there were the times we would go outfit shopping for me. I'd always find a top I liked at one store and then we'd spend the next four hours looking for something to match it. Sometimes we'd end up going back to the original store and taking the top back cause money was tight and I wanted something that I really liked. But those were such fun days. Stopping for lunch and then stopping for coffee.

Mom sacrificed so much and gave so much that it would take me a thousand days to describe all the wonderful, loving ways she had. But it was those companionable days that I miss the most. My dearest Mom and best friend.

My mom was someone who widowed at age 46, had 3/4 of a mortgage to pay on a wage of 88 cents an hour, worked until 80 years of age after locating a better job, who loved her church, who made fudge from the age of 14 every year until her death at 94 years of age. She was the epitome of "sweet."

its funny when i was young. i was always embarrassed by my parents. they were so quiet and private.(square?) they were both so well mannered? growing up was pretty average i guess.

i guess i never knew how very lucky i was at the time.

as i got older the respect for my mom and dad grew! before i knew it, I had become both my mom and dad! ....everything they did for me, made me who i am today.

dad helped me with my algebra, mom sewed all night to finish that outfit.
...... they taught me so many things just by good example.

idk i cant even think about all the different things. im afraid it take me all day!

I’m blessed in that I’m still learning from my dad. Also blessed in that I had a wonderful mom who though quiet in nature, taught me so much. If I get started on specifics I’ll write a book so just a couple of quick things that come to mind—my dad only letting us as kids drive in the cemetery, saying it was the only place we couldn’t kill anyone as they were already dead, and he’d just laugh! Telling us to remember that no one ever borrowed their way out of debt. Correcting our homework and telling us we got one wrong, but never which one so we’d have to figure out where the mistake was by checking it all, it made us more careful! Always having time to fix bikes or throw a ball....

Today in church, I realized why I can accept, understand, and rejoice in God's all-forgiving, all-saving love, when so many people cannot.
It's because of my own daddy showing me that kind of love all my life. My dad probably wasn't perfect, but he sure did love me with that perfect love; and that's the sweetest, best lesson he could have given me.
He passed away 22 years ago, and I am still learning these things he taught me.

Fortunately or unfortunately I never had to care for my aging parents.
My Mom died when I was 11 and my Dad died 4 years later.
Between the time my Mom died and my Dad my Dad took care of his MIL in our home.
So from my Dad I learned...
To care for a loved one in our home, to comfort them, care for them and love them. In a home setting not what would way back then been a "nursing home" (My Grandma had cancer of the mouth and tongue.) ...by the way 10 days after my Mom died my Aunt died so in 10 days my Grandma lost both her children.
When I met my Husband I felt a connection to him that I can not describe. But after being together for 25 years he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I also think he had vascular dementia. We then made the long journey together for 12 years.
But from my Husband I learned :
unconditional love
That love does not have to be spoken
Stronger faith. (does not have to be an organized religion just know there is some greater power and you need to trust that things will work out...may not be the way you want but isn't that the mark of FAITH?)
I learned that one person can not do it all by themselves
If you need help ask
Research all the possible ways to get the help that you need.
You need support from others going through the same thing...and you need to pass on the knowledge you learn to others that are going through the same thing, you may not help everyone but if you have helped 1 it was worth it.

There is truth to this saying that I was told in a Native American saying..
Perhaps they are not Stars but rather openings in Heaven where Love shines through.

Y'all give your Dads a hug for me. Happy Fathers Day.

I could read these all day! Thank you for sharing some intimate parts of yourselves with us.

Keep sharing, someone's always listening.🤗

I lost my Dad in 2004 when he was 85 years old. He suffered greatly but never complained. My Mom is 96 and “lost” to dementia and I do my best to care for her. They both worked very hard all their lives and I thank them both for the gift of faith! If it weren’t for my faith I wouldn’t be who I am today . . . A servant for the Lord. I lost my husband of 35 years last year and I grieve for him daily. Thank you to those three loved ones for all they gave to me, did for me and helped me to be the best person I can possibly be. Thank you, Pepsee, for this thread. God bless all.

My Dad was a really good Dad, exposed us to many things and taught us many things. He *insisted* that I take typing in high school despite all of my resistance. That was definitely a good call! He went on roller coasters with me and was a wonderful Grandpa to my 2 boys. He adored my Mom. Thanks for reminding me to think back on how he used to be and not just how he is now.

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