Guilt, obligation and people pleasing have been the driving force behind unhealthy caregiving relationships in my personal experience. Deep inside there is a scared little girl who wants to be “good” and not get in trouble.
Thankful for everyone’s support on this page. You’ve held the space for me to look at these stories and paradigms I’ve been telling myself. I’ve really started to stalk myself and my behavior, thoughts and actions and I’ve come to the conclusion that doing something out of guilt is worse than doing nothing at all for your sanity.
Boundaries are everything! I read on here many years ago that it’s crucial to set them from the beginning but not impossible to set at any point. For anyone reading this that hasn't set boundaries and is having difficulty establishing them or holding them, this is your sign to not hesitate! It may be hard and uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier when you ally with yourself and choose you.
Thank you again. Many of you help so many people with your supportive and kind responses.
Yes! and thank you! I'm FINALLY learning, mostly because of THIS forum, that I can't do it all, that I don't have to be Super Woman, that it's OKAY to get help when it comes to taking care of mom who has Dementia! I was burning myself out and not taking care of myself. I found this forum and it has been a lifesaver for me because NO ONE but other caregivers understand how we feel!