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This is very very common for older people not just dementia patients. My mom and my aunte both obcessed about it. My aunte to the point that she refused to eat because she hadn't had a bowel movement, used suppositories so much she brused her rectum. No amount of reason would change her mind. Have had several clients who had no dementia issues that where like that too. I think from my exp that when the body isnt in great working order older folks fixate on this. It's just another piece of the loss of control puzzel aging adults deal with. Anxiety about even common things creeps in because they dont feel in control anymore. Just support him and he'll be fine.
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Don't sweat the small stuff! Seniors without dementia "obsess" over defecating. I guess television makes it a problem and the need for their product, but no, anyone who has had an accident defecating in their pants does not want to repeat that. I have had "accidents" where I could not get to the toilet fast enough and I don't have dementia. Just give him time. I can always find my husband in the bathroom - doing what he wants to do. At 93 yrs. God bless him and many more birthdays!
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I think most folks who have an awareness of their decline are very concerned about having "accidents". Many of them feel ashamed when bowel control is lost. Randomly or regularly. You are a wonderful and patient daughter. It may help you dad feel more confident if you use a back pack to carry any needed items while you are out; depends, wipes, plastic bags, extra outfit etc.
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Well.. I can say, at least your loved one will sit on the toilet. :-) My dad (with Lewy Body) will not use the toilet. He will squat on the bathroom floor. We have tried a variety of things to help him locate the toilet, with no success. He even fights me if I am helping him to sit down.
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Couldn't agree more for myself scammed - sadly my mother does NOT agree she wants with with her be it a urine output or an evacuation. Additionally in my bathroom which is tiny if Mum falls she falls right in front of the door and that would mean I couldn't get in either so closing the door isn't an option.Somewhere in her brain it has registered that the toilet is where she has had all but one fall all caused by TIAs so she is actually scared to be alone in the toilet and she actually wants me to face her and talk to her - her hearing isn't good enough if I face away from her so I actually have no choice if I am to make her comfortable.

As for commentary it is only by sharing that people can learn what is normal in this world and unless the familial carers have been trained that is the ONLY way they can learn. It may be the law to abuse people's dignity - indeed in most countries it is law but it is also law not to put vulnerable people at risk.

Factors
History of falls; Yes almost always on toilet
wheelchair use; Yes
65 years of age; female Yes and Yes
use of assistive devices (e.g., walker, cane) yes
Presence of acute illness; Yes
visual difficulties; Yes
hearing difficulties; Yes
arthritis; Yes
sleeplessness; Yes
vascular disease; Yes
Diminished mental status (e.g., confusion, delerium, dementia, impaired reality testing) Yes
Medication Yes
diuretics; Yes
antianxiety agents; Yes

Given all of the above I will stay with her and if that means facing her to keep her calm and seeing she gets the fastest help she can then quite frankly the law is an ass
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100% of us are obsessed with our bowels. By the way, what we do in the bathroom is a private matter. I personally do not like other people eyeballing me while I am in the bathroom whether I am five, ten, twenty, fifty, or ninety. My body is private, my private space, especially while my pants are down. I ask that no person touch it without permission, and that includes looking at what's under my underwear. Guys and gals are both obsessed about their bowels. We all have weird habits. It's none of my business to eyeball another person, even out of "concern" or "for their own good." To be respectful means to give that person privacy. This means turning away, keeping that door closed, period. I know you are afraid of a fall, but dignity is so, so important. Bathroom commentary belongs only in our stand-up comedy, in our darkest humor, and in our bad jokes, and in the bathroom. Shut the door and give your dad the privacy he deserves. This is a vital human rights issue, in fact, it is the law in some situations.
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Yes i think it is common in the elderly. Their bodies don't work the same and are always concerned what may happen when they are out. If accidents happen in the house take a bag of supplies when you're out. Diapers, wipes, even a change of clothes. Not only may you need it, but your love one may relax a bit knowing they are covered when they go out
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I knew two of them, and I must say that I never heard of such a thing, so to me this would actually sound very unusual
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I think that every dementia patient has symptoms that are similar to some others but it affects each and every person differently. Obsession with BM is common phenomenon with a lot of people and I have noticed that as they get older it seems to be a constant conversation with their friends too!
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If possible, try a regular exercise program like daily walks and do it everyday about the same time, seven days a week. Start them off gradually and build them up. That really helps with obsession fixations. I know when my mom got obsessed with opening locks and door and wandering, but daily walks really helps and it's not nearly as bad. It's worth a try replacing one fixation with another. Now she's obsessed about her daily walks! That's a good obsession!
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I agree. All old people seem to worry about going to the bathroom. At least your dad wants to go out. Dementia or not, it is frequently used as a reason not to go to events. Might have to go to the bathroom. Wouldn't want to be anywhere but home. Wanting to overuse laxatives and then come UTI's.
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Just a thought is it possible this obsession is the end product( possible bad pun) of the toilet training they had and then used on their kids. With the increased use of indoor toilets mothers were encouraged to toilet train their kids as early as possible even before they could walk and also seemed to use enemas a lot to force bowel movements. You were expected to have one per day ,This is what the Doctors were saying then. It seems that the oldest behaviors are the ones that last the longest when one looses other skills.
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Yea my mother has dementia but she wont get on the toilet alot of times we have to make her go every 15 or 20 mins. Or she will do it in her depends and she has a bowel movement alot lately
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Thank you. Glad to hear I'm not the "wierd" one.
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90% of the elderly people I've known and/or worked with were obsessed with their bowels.
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Yes, some do seem to develop an obsession, from what I've heard in my caregiver support group. My husband didn't. Must just be the luck of the draw. The thought of possibly being caught short while out of the house probably contributes to the obsession, don't you suppose?

Just keep up the loving relationship and hope for no obsession worse than this one!
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