He keeps going in to have a bowel movement to see if he's done from the last time today.

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He went 2 times 2day. Not diarrea. Obsession. Do dementia patients become so obsessed with bowel movements (good ones, no diarrhea or constipation) that he needs to sit each time he urinates and sees "if he's done"? We are leaving the home for an appointment, and he usually has to urinate. And that's ok. No problem. Been going on for 19 years. Now, he thinks he'll have a BM and sits on the toilet. I can work around the time needed. My question is this: as mentioned in beginning sentence, are ALZ and dementia patients always like this. Obsessed by BM issues? I do know about the urine issues! And he knows I'm really trying to help him be himself and says how much he loves me. He's not angry, just frustrated for both of us that this is happening. He's 93.

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Is he having regular bowel movements? Are you sure there's not a medical issue?
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my father would obsess about it before going into nursing home. I think because he always had one every day and figured it should continue. I tried telling him that IF you don't eat enough, there is nothing to come out. and as he got more into the dementia he ate less but still thought he should go everyday, he would use the enema's etc to help him go and would get frustrated if he didn't. not everyone goes 1 time a day. sometimes I go 2 or 3 and other times I might miss a day. I have even heard people go for 4 or 5 days without having a BM......I guess everyone's digestion is different.
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Lassie, that's one of the problems having specialists and a gp. Sometimes they are not in agreement. So, (rhetorical question) what's a caregiver to do? Neurologist says Hubby doesn't need cholesterol meds because of his age. GP was not too happy with that response. Hubby is still on cholesterol meds.
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Lassie --

Yes, it is frustrating when doctors don't give detailed recommendations.
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Oy. For one thing, they don't usually eat as much as they used to, or eat 'healthy'. My mother had a list of about a dozen things she enjoyed, I had to cook or buy all her food. She loved her bananas and fruit-in-jello!...anyway, she was taking iron pills because anemic, and then she was plugged up, so taking stool softeners. Plus many other pills. Then she got a prolapsed rectum, freaking out a couple home health aids, and often severe bleeding. Off to the proctologist, who said after 4, yes, 4 different trips, she could just 'live with it'. He had nothing to say about the constipation except 'stop giving mom the iron pills' (recomended by her g.p.) Oh, it was quite a mess, in more ways than one!
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My mother who has Alzheimer's spends more time on the toilet than she does sitting on the couch! She is obsessed with sitting on it. My brothers and I have walked in to check on her at different times and there she is sleeping. Prior to Alzheimer's she never had bathroom issues.
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Every time I visited my husband in the nursing home, he mentioned his bowel movements. Examples: "It's coming out now. (It wasn't.) They put a pad under me." This was one of the things he talked about the last time I saw him alive. It distressed me to hear it. I was happy that before I left that day, he asked me to lower the bed rail so I could lean over and kiss him. I did.
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Yes, it is an obsession for many elderly people!
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Yes, my mother went from worrying if she could go to saying no more to products to assist the go!
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You sound like a precious caregiver!
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