Hi there, I am new to this site happy to have found it :) So my grandmother always lived close to us, my dad used to see her every evening have dinner there and so on since he was her son. Me and my mother were there every now and then. My grandmother has always been able to live on her own. 3 years ago my dad passed away suddenly of a heart attack. That left my grandmother with the loss of her oldest son. She is now older and cannot get out of the house, she has diabetes and all other kinds of issues with her health, both mentally and physically. She does not want to really accept my dads death and I understand that but it can get hard at times. She does not want to move, and is really stubborn about things. My mom is with her everyday and so am I. We both live on our own and have small living spaces so none of us can really take her in. And like I said she is stubborn. She has 2 other sons that unfortunately live abroad and cannot do much from there, and she refuses to go be with them either. When they call she says everything is fine. I feel very overwhelmed since things get worse, she has hallucinations and has been very unstable at times but when the doctor asks she is again fine! And I feel really powerless to the situation. I know it will not get better or easier and feel like we have no support at all. I am not even 30 years old yet and feel clueless. Any advice? So sorry for the long rant, needed to vent I guess.

Yes, definitely let the doctor know what is really going on. I have written up things to give to the doctor ahead of time so he can read it before he meets with my Mom. She really doesn't realize the extent to which she has problems, so as far as she knows she is not lying when she tells the doctor she is fine.

Nancy, have your Grandmother tested for an Urinary Tract Infection, as such infections in older people will have strange symptoms such as hallucinations and other unusual behavior. Antibiotics will help with the infection.

Great advice you guys thank you!
Regarding guardianshipwe live in Sweden so not sure how it works here but will see what I can find.
And yes will come to the doctors next time and do the headshaking thing or talk to her doctor alone.
Thanks again!

One thing you and your mom can do is let gma's doctor know what is REALLY going on.

You can write up a bulleted list of her physical and mental symptoms and mail or fax them to the doctor prior to her next appointment.

Does one of you accompany her to her dr. Appts? You can stand behind her and shake your head " no" vigorously when the doc asks if everything is okay.