I don’t know if you folks have patience of iron and steel, but today my MIL wanted me to do her laundry. No problem, I said and meant it. Of course, she asks just as I’m about to pick up my son from the bus stop. Go back in the house, there she is again with the hamper. I tell her to put it down, I’ll do it when I get back from picking up my kindergartener (he goes to a different school, so doesn’t get bussing). She was kinda pissed that I wasn’t doing it right then, but the bus was late, and I knew I was also running late. Come back, and the boys of course have stories, things to show me, and a mess to clean up in their lunch bags. My MIL starts yelling at me that I never do anything for her (say what??) and that I’m taking forever!
Now, I just cannot CANNOT drop everything and do something just because somebody is impatient. It goes against every fiber of my being. I held my tongue, but I stood there cleaning every dish in my sink, the counters, the stove, even though they did not need to be cleaned just because I will not be bullied to be at her beck and call! She has A LOT of clothes. There is zero rush! She’s just used to being a bully and making a fuss and expecting everyone to cater to her every wish.
Not me…. I still haven’t touched that hamper…
So, that was me poking the bear. Anyone else poke the bear today?
I used to be a door mat so I know of what I speak. If what you did is poking the bear then I probably have a whole den of bears looking for me.
I think it brings up childhood fears of punishment, abandonment and "who do you think you are?" At least it does for me in situations where I first say "no, I can't do that".
Good job!!
It is setting a boundary.
It is saying "my kids come first".
It is saying "MY mental health and needs come first".
Keep up the good work!