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I don't like cleaning my mother's bathroom. I don't really like doing housework to start with, but I know it is a necessary evil. My mother's bathroom is absolutely the worst. First, there is a big walk in shower that gets red and black mildew that has to be tackled. Then there's the shower chair that grows mildew on all the joint. By the time I clean the shower, I am worn out. But it is time to move on to the toilet.

The toilet has a safety frame with feet touching the floor and an elevated vinyl seat. Many times she doesn't quite make it to the toilet, so pees all over it. To clean the toilet, I have to take off the safety frame (peeeuuuu) and squirt the cleaner into the bowl. I let it set while I clean the sink -- no problem usually. Then I have to clean the toilet and clean all the yuck off the safety frame seat and bucket. Yuck yuck yuck.

Now it that isn't enough, there is the garbage can that she puts used potty tissue in. That can gag me, but it has to be done. Finally, there is the mopping of the floor with vinegar water. All done... Then I hear her moving down the hall to the bathroom and want to cry. Elders' bathrooms are just too hard to keep clean.

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We're missing you Jessie, and just hoping that everything is ok and maybe you'll come back after a break. (((hugs)))
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Miss you, JB!
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Hey, Jessie, Everyone is missing you. How are you doing? Your mom? Is everything okay? Take care! (Hugs)!!
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Maybe you could retrofit the bathroom like a carwash with a big floor drain, huge scrubby brush and pressure washer. Just put on your hazmat suit, step in, and blast away. Two minutes later, all clean. Turn on the fan and open the window to dry. :-)

OK, maybe that is not an option. Better living through chemistry. I find that concentrated peroxide (Oxyclean type stuff) works better than plain bleach and is not as risky to my skin and lungs. Liquid dishwasher soap works best on mold and grout. I get mine at Costco. Clorox makes a great product for urine smell and stain, sometimes you can find it in the pet aisle if not the cleaning aisle of the grocery store. Also, spraying everything down then waiting 5-10 min helps tremendously.

The reason some places smell better is that both the housekeeping staff is good at what they do and management has wisely chosen to pay for plenty of the right chemicals, which can be expensive.
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I just glove up and spray away with the strongest spray bleach cleaner and get down and dirty with it. Luckily we don't have grab bars and such (mother's place does, and her bathroom is a gross nightmare--shudder) but I am always amazed at how disgusting one small bathroom can get in such a short time. Hubby also has explosive diarrhea probably 5 days a week due to his Metformin. So---maybe 20 episodes to clean up after? And no, he has never, not once, never cleaned up after himself.

I replace the toilet seat about once a year, all the scrubbing I have to do pretty much ruins them.

Oh, and OPEN THE WINDOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! For your safety. That bleach is amazing, of course, but will knock you out.

If I clean Mother's- I open the windows, put the shower chair in the shower, spray it all with a strong cleaner and shut the shower. Take out the wet depends, either spray the garbage can or put a layer of kitty litter in with the new bag. Spray down everything and wipe and scrub. End up with spraying the shower and chair down (I don't scrub her shower, it's beyond my abilities to get the limescale off at this point). I do NOT close the window for hours, if I can get away with it.

This is a tiny, tiny bathroom. It still takes an hour.

Sadly, all of mother's clothing and belongings now smell like sick, old urine. Carpet, everything. I will take absolutely nothing if she dies, as the smell makes me so sick, and is just too reminiscent of cleaning for someone who hates me for doing so.

I don't know why some "old folks" places stink to high heaven and some places (like both of my grandmother's homes) smelled pleasantly fresh and clean. I guess mother was a slipshod housekeeper in the best of times.

Bathrooms are just the worst to clean...after that, birdcages. Ugh.
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I have changed from cleaning with bleach to a degreaser. Still have my Ly*ol. I am trying sp*c and sp*n this week for mopping. May switch to swi**er. I also purchased one of those automatic air fresheners and placed it under the air conditioner. The complaining has gone way down. I still use Febr**ze on sofas at times. No replacement yet.

I always disliked those raised toilet seats they look like trouble. When the medical folding potty finally broke, I purchased regular toilet seats. That has helped a lot.

I'm too wimpy for private part cleaning matters. Reason I left working in nursing home. When it is shower time, mom says I will bathe myself. I tell her yes you will but first let me get you all setup. Then I set nearby in case she calls for me or I hear something. My stomach is just weak.

When that time comes, I will have to re-evaluate things. But right now they can still shower and handle toilet duty by themselves.

Bless You JoAnn29
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Jessie, I fully understand where ur coming from. My Mom had explosive diarrhea. I had to clean up the bathroom before I could give her shower. It took me 3 hours to clean because she walked into her sitting room. We had to get rid of the area carpet. I sat and cried as I cleaned up. The next time she had the problem was in the AL. At 65 I am just not physically able to handle her. She is now in a NH and doing well. Her memory is gone. I think she recognizes but really doesn't know the relationship. I still have to deal with the house, which I will lose and getting my disabled nephew placed somewhere. Then hopefully my husband and I can enjoy our retirement.
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Please be aware that when people have Dementia they can no longer appreciate what u do for them. I think the reasoning power is the first thing to go.
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My mother's favorite saying when it comes to cleaning the bathroom and kitchen is "They don't need it." Of course, they don't, but that is because I keep them clean. Answry, your mother sounds like mine. Instead of saying thanks for cleaning, there are talks of the smells. I don't use anything really smelly anymore, since she complained about the smell of bleach all over the house.
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I just reloaded my arsenal today. Face mask and all. I loathe this part of caregiving. I am like a mad scientist. Mom says here you go coming through the door blazing with those air fresheners and chemicals. I can’t stand a smelly home.

I’m smiling at this post and feel ya.
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We have curious Congress people like Paul Ryan who talks about how he helped with his grandmother with Alzheimer's when he was a teenager. His father died, so his mother was a single parent. Strangely, Ryan is is the biggest proponent in trying to cut SS, Medicare, and Medicaid for seniors. He is also a big supporter of cutting corporate and upper-income taxes. Even though he should know things, he votes against the people like his grandmother. Maybe his grandmother taught him to dislike old people?? He certainly does seem to resent how much they cost the budget with all those benefits.
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Jessie, I'm not sure it's that the politicians could care less (well, not most of them) , I think it is more that they just don't have a clue. It is pretty rare to see a politician whose roots are in the lower classes, especially those in the upper echelon, so even when they study an issue and consult focus groups they can't really comprehend what it means to live 24/7 without adequate income supports or as a hands on caregiver.
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I'm burned out, too. It is an endless cycle of doing tedious things. I feel like Cinderella, but with no hope of Prince Charming coming to the rescue at my age.

I don't think many of us are enabling. In my case I know my mother would try to continue to live in her house alone if I weren't here. She wouldn't go into a facility because she doesn't like people. She wants to live on her own terms -- staying in her pajamas and watching TV all day, eating when she wants. It would have been disastrous, with my brother and me having to drop by every few hours to check on her and pretty much doing the things I do now. We would have had to do that because she would not have left this house. The law would have had to force her to leave.

Me being here makes the most sense for everyone, but my own life has been pretty much exhausted. I really dislike watching the spoiled politicians wobbling their jaws about things. They have no clue. Even if they talk to someone who has it rough, they just use them for political talking points. Most in the US could care less about ordinary people. It's kind of sad when you get to the point you realize neither family nor community cares. That just leaves one person or couple when there are parents who won't leave their home. Sometimes it isn't enabling. It's just family working through a difficult situation.
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Just burnt out after these years...I struggle with my old enabling patterns. Being nice quit working and his parents can afford help. They just don't want to pay.
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Guest shop! Love the "mouse in your pocket" quip. An oldie but goodie. You are one tough customer!
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Have to admit that if my mother had a colostomy bag, she would have to be in a retirement home. I couldn't deal with that. I'm too wimpy and I don't want to be that personal with her private matters.

Tonight she told me she needs some more lancet tips for her blood sugar readings. I went to the drugstore today and yesterday. I am flipping going bonkers because it's not like she could think to tell me. I'm thinking of a little cabin in the woods by a peaceful stream with birds and frogs calling.
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I think a lot of these gizmos are designed either for patients to use themselves, or for people who are in residential care settings where there's constant supervision. I've yet to see anything advertised with the u.s.p. "makes life lighter for the caregiver :)"

At least the doctor saw the hitch and didn't give you any snottiness about it, that's something.
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I went through a phase of using pedestal mats (or wee rugs, as I privately called them) until I decided that having to boil-wash the wretched things wasn't much less miserable than just getting down there and scrubbing the floor.

If it's any consolation (those less fortunate than ourselves?) my SIL's MIL had a colostomy she wasn't very reliable about dealing with. I was very glad I wasn't there the weekend it went nuclear in my SIL's bathroom, but I think everyone else in the family got roped in to, er, swab the decks.
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(hiding under bed)

This was an awful day. We had a doctor appointment. My mother has been confused and needy all day. Words are not registering with her, so I'm exhausted. My mother's doctor wanted to start her on a new thing that would require taking sugar readings 4 times a day. I told her that we couldn't do it like that because it would be like putting me in prison all day. She understood. I don't think doctors stop to think about the impact their ideas would have on a caregiver for someone with dementia.
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Do you live in a really humid area? What cleaner do you use. I use Comet Bathroom Cleaner, love it. Do u use bleach at all? I guess Moms bath is too small for a commode over the toilet? commode has a backbar that can be removed. Take off the toilet seat because the commode has a seat and lid. Where the commode has a bucket you put a splashguard that goes where the bucket is down into the toilet. Mom has arms to help her up and the legs can be adjusted to a height good for her. The splash guard helps keep the toilet clean. Just have to wipe down the seat and splashguard which comes out and can be replaced. Maybe wiping down with bleach and water would help with the mold. Maybe removing the trashcan will help. My Mom started this but I was close by and kept telling her to drop it in the toilet. I used to use X14, I Think it was called, for mildew. Its better than Lysol. Maybe spraying with that would help with mold forming. I hate bathrooms too.
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JB, I won't use the bathroom at FIL/MIL's house any more. FIL is the only one physically able to clean and even the guest bathroom makes a college dorm look spotless. Last time hubs and I visited I didn't want to sit - I hovered. And then hubs mentioned the bad shape the house was in and maybe "we" should "do something about it". I suggested that he and the mouse in his pocket (the only WE I could see) should get crackin'. Never did happen...
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ROFL. I would have had SO wait for the plumber and have HIM take him/her in there. Bathrooms are so disgusting.

My mother's bathroom is little. That makes it sound easier, but it just makes it hard to get to things. Maybe one day they'll make one with a self-clean button. Wouldn't it be cool to just lock it shut, push a button, and it heats up to burn off all the yuck -- like a self-cleaning oven?

Maybe I should design elder bathroom furniture. I don't think the designers of those frames and chairs ever cleaned a bathroom.
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Good heavens, I have seen cleaner gas station bathrooms than how my sig other leaves his bathroom, and here he is a healthy man with no memory issues. He's from a family where his Mom did everything for her son, so he never learned to do it himself.

Now that I am in my 70's, it's everyone's bathroom for themselves. It's been a couple of years since I cleaned that bathroom, but now that the plumber is coming over I had to clean as I didn't want the plumber is say "I'm not going in there".

Oh I wish there were things to make that cleaning job more pleasant, as I dislike housework with a passion. One time when I didn't have much energy I just took a whole container of Lysol Wipes to clean the bathroom :P

Where's the Tidy Bowl Man when you need him ???
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ACK!!! That's even worse than I did. :-D

I think another thing is that I'm 65 now and just don't have the energy and drive I once did. It would be easier to just crawl under the bed and hide.
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Put the frame in the shower, along with the shower chair, and spray them both down with whatever you spray the shower with. Let them all set a bit. Then scrub them both down and rinse in the shower. THen tackle the shower walls. This may save you some time and effort. Let them dry and then replace them. And don't forget to open the window!!
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Oh, I wish! Really, I don't really have a lot to do. It's just that I really dislike cleaning her bathroom. Getting someone in to clean the house wouldn't be worth the arguments about not needing anyone. I talked to her about housecleaning service one time and she said that "we" could do it. She still cleans her safety frame funnel when it gets soiled, but the weekly cleaning is up to me.

Something that would make it easier is if they designed shower chairs and safety frames so they were easy to clean.
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Dear JessieBelle,

I'm sorry, I know this isn't the most pleasant task on top of caring for your mom daily. I know it takes a toll.

Are you able to hiring a cleaning service? Or is there another family member or friend that could help you?
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