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No one has mentioned the ten year old niece. The mother has made her bed and will have to lie in it for the few weeks that remain of her life, But that little ten year old who is already suffering from ADHD is being ABUSED right now.
Her mother is stealing her medications and she has to share her bedroom alone all night with a dying woman who has seizures and will shortly go into respiratory arrest which is terrifying and noisy. That child or her grandmother needs to be removed from that living situation immediately. Make a phone call right now to the CHILD ABUSE HOTLINE in your State and ask for immediate action. You can do it anonymously if you wish but DO IT. Your mother will not be able to tolerate additional R/T and chemo and the Oncologist may decide to stop it anyway. Mother is at the stage when Hospice would come in, if allowed. Any Nursing staff or social worker who sees the conditions your niece is living under is by law mandated to report it to child abuse. all that being said I am going to try and send you a personal message as this is so urgent.
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Oops, guess videos aren't allowed! Sorry mods or admins!

Just go to You Tube and type in Dany and Viserys. :)
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And now, for your amusement... I got a kick out of this video...

When I saw this scene on Game Of Thrones, I literally laughed such an evil, happy, gleeful laugh.....This is my fantasy interpretation come to life, thank you GOT, of how I think the entire world should handle bullies, losers, abusers, narcissists, crazies, downers, and the rest of those kinds of undesirables.... ha ha ;)
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Your sister is TELLING you that she's going to be your mom's primary care giver? Really now... You look her dead in the eye and say over your dead body. NO. NO. HELL NO. That is the only answer there should be, imho. Stop this insanity any way you can right now. This is just unacceptable for your mom.. Nobody should have to live in fear.
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Good Lawd, I guess I'm the only crazy here, because I don't agree with the groveling advice. Forget that.

You say you're a military family. So is mine. Ok, where is the strength, the spine, in this family? Why in God's name has your sister been allowed this much power, and why in the hell are you all tip toeing around her like you're on egg shells? Piss on that.

Next time she gives you any shit, and won't let you see your mom, and starts acting like some out of control lunatic, you tell her that you are going to call the police on her and insist on a psychiatric evaluation. Tell that bitch that you'll have her ass in a psyche ward before all is said and done by the time YOU get done talking, yes indeed, and you've got witnesses that can back you up in front of any judge, several people in fact that think she's a nut job and a danger to your mother. And then see what happens. She plays hard ball, you play hard ball. The end. You win. You don't need to FEAR this loon, you need to FIGHT her tooth and nail. You don't think your mom is safe? Then what the heck is she still doing in that woman's clutches? Call the damn cops for God's sake. DNA and family ties be damned. Lose this bullying bitch once and for all, for every body's sake....
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This may be hard to hear. Your Mom was clearly not protecting you when you were growing up from your sister's abuse... and, clearly, did not think she was a threat to anyone, let alone herself. With that said, your Mom is simply reaping what she's sown. She could have drawn a legal boundary (POA) when she was able bodied, and chose not to do so. Now she is living in a seemingly less than adequate living situation.

Wash your hands and seek and pray to Jesus Christ of Nazareth for you, your Mom, and your sister.
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Jinx4740, you're spot on about what I would need to do. Sadly, she is in a state so far beyond reason, that any attempt to reconcile always leads to her feeling attacked (even when it's not the case) & she fights back with insults. They never make any sense either...she said I wanted to be a prostitute & threatens me with violence because I asked her to speak calmly. All the while, she tells doctors & people who don't know me, that I'm a dangerous, belligerent threat to society...I'm Mormon for crying out loud...I won't wear an offensive hemline, much less threaten society. She would love for me to grovel and after I'm done, deny me the right to peacefully visit (while hurling insults & trying to embarrass me in front of others for doing so).

No matter how badly it hurts me, I've chosen to avoid this & give my mother the peace she deserves. She eventually won't remember me anyway & by then, the visits would just be for my sake...if I grieve & move on now, I hope to avoid further pain & threats of violence.
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Is there any outsider that your sister might listen to? A clergyman, or her counsellor or your mother's doctor? I had a mentally ill, very unreasonable aunt-in-law who finally agreed that it was wrong to keep a mother from her child, the aunt's husband. She continued to block the siblings, but allowed visits by his mother.

If it can be presented to her that it would be a generous, magnanimous gesture, not for your benefit, because you are clearly evil and don't deserve anything (in her opinion), but for your mother's benefit, because a mother still loves all her children, however unworthy, she might be induced to allow a visit or two. (Sorry for the long sentence!)

You might have to do some grovelling that you shouldn't have to do, but if you can let her be right about everything, she is more likely to relent.

Of course you know the situation best, and I could be totally wrong. I am so sorry for your situation.
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Well the sad truth that I read in your post is that your mom has never been able to face the issues that your sister presents, even when she was healthy. If she had, she would have put you as POA for both healthcare and finances. Your mom has made her choices and even though they're horrible choices to you, I'd say honor them. It's sad and awful, but your mom has chosen to support your sister over her own health and the ability to see you in her final days. I'd say let things stand and do the best you can to come to terms with your mom's situation. I just can't see the benefit in creating a big fight when your mom is in such a frail state and likely has limited time. When your mom goes, you can be done with your hateful, spiteful sister. Hugs to you...
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You might check with an elder's attorney. If it's too late to establish POA (especially if your mom is in a facility), you may be able to gain guardianship.
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She hasn't specified through legal documentation. She said she wants my sister to handle her medical needs & me the finances...but fails to realize that the medical care costs. This was mostly a vent but I truly don't know if anything can be done.
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The question is who did your mother give power of attorney to?
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