My sister is a wonderful person, but my mother rarely included my sister in her life. Now that my mother is elderly she has decided she needs her because I refuse to be a doormat to my mothers demanding neediness. My sister is over joyed at the prospect she can finally be part of my mother's lfe and help her. The problem is my mother rages at my sister when she gets frustrated with her help. My sister can be overwhelming, but it is because she so much wants to help my mother and be an important part of her life. My heart goes out to my sister because I know my mother is only using my sister because I stopped allowing my mother to use me. I was my mother's preference for help and my sister secondary. I stopped because I refused to be the target of my mother's rage. My sister says nothing when being treated so horribly, she is so desperate for my mothers approval. I have talked to my mother about this and realizes what she is doing to my sister, but still it continues. There is another sister, but she is the golden child and is showered with gifts and admiration while doing very little. My sister is a kind hearted caring person and should not be subjected to the rage my mother inflicts on her, I know it hurts her. I have tried to talk to my sister about not tolerating this, but she would rather take the verbal abuse than lose any involvement with my mother. I have been put in the middle of my mother's rages towards my sister and it took extreme restraint not to retaliate against my mother to put her in her place. My sister is so desperate for my mother's love, she is willing to accept anything for it. My mother does not have dementia, just a selfish need to use people she can with little regard for thier feelings.