How come I continue to be shocked and surprised by my siblings' lack of interest and compassion in caring for our aging mother? Will I ever get passed that feeling of "what the heck is wrong with you? It's your mother, too!"?

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I struggle with this daily... But it hurts Me not Mom when they don't call or visit... I know I'm doing a good job caring for Mom and I will be able to live with my decisions after she passes.

I'm only human! I have good days and bad with my thoughts regarding my neglectful siblings.. I am so glad I have my friends her on AC xoxo.

That first sentence was very powerful! A support group member said to our group last month that each family member has a percentage of decision-making power equal to the amount of hours they help out. Some sibs are at 1%. Phone calls do not count as hours. And all the sibs know her rule. She follows the same rule regarding information sharing. They really don't want to know that much anyway or they would check and visit more often.

The shock and disappointment may last as long as your Mom is alive. It took me QUITE some time but I now realize that I was only frustrating myself by expecting more from my sibs. One (finally) did step up to the plate with more assistance. But, when all is said and done, you are the one who has to look in the mirror today and for the rest of your life and not have regrets about how you helped your Mom through her final years. You will be able to hold your head high. It won't get higher (or lower) if your family does more or less. Hire help as needed (with your Mom's assets ) to give yourself some free time. I find myself giving out less info to the members of the family that do not inquire. And, at the end of the day, when your Mom is gone, your siblings WILL be your family. So don't count them out of your life, just don't expect them to do things that they won't/can't/aren't interested in doing. Trust me, you will sleep better if you shake off the shock. Good luck

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