So I'm the only girl with 3 brothers. Mom lives with me, I also have 2 boys of my own. I do all of mom errands, help her with ANYTHING see needs while my brothers who all live close by and have no kids do nothing. I take her to appointments (when she doesn't cancel them last minute), I sit with her when she ended up in the hospital (at least once a yr) and I try so hard to help her control her high BP & low pulse. But WHENEVER I discuss her making better medical choices I get: "you know this isn't your concern, you bothering me will make my health worse, NONE OF YOUR BROTHERS TSLK TO ME LIKE IM A CHILD THEY TREAT ME LIKE A MOM" And when moms in the hospital and my brothers manage to call her while admitted, they are treated like shining knights on white horses.....ugh, anyone else deal with this? What do u do?

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
My Grandmother was a very wise woman and usually got everything right but not in this case.She said"oh!God has sent you 2 boys to help you in your old age!" but they have never done a thing to help Mother in any way and she was so wrong.
Right this minute,my 61 year old brother is sitting on his butt watching me do every single thing Mother needs or requires and in between cooking dinner and doing laundry to survive another day and he is laughing and talking with Mom and she believes he's just the man and I love him and want them to be happy but Dam!Can't the boy see?God Knows I need help and this old BOY is an Eagle Scout and Christian and was raised the same as me!And he sits....Anyway,I totally hear you girl!Good luck!

No, you're not alone. I've taken care of my mom (by myself) for 13 years (and dad for 9 of those years). My brother lives in another state. I ask him to call my mom one day a week, so I can have a "mom-free" day. And she says to me, 'Oh he doesn't have to call, I know he's busy." I want to SCREAM!

I take her food, fix it it for her, fix her meds, take out her garbage, do her laundry, help with her shower, cut her toenails, set her hair, get her meds, renew her magazine subscriptions, handle her investments, take her to the doctor, take her to the store, take her to get perms, get her new clothes, talk to her doctors, in other words EVERYTHING. She'll be 96 next month. And she thinks my brother is "too busy" to talk to her one day a week for five minutes. He's retired, with no kids.

What I've learned (and shared on here many times) is that I used to get bent out of shape about it. Really, really angry at my brother. But that was only hurting me. My brother didn't know or care that I was spitting nails. I finally let it go and I'm much happier. I do what I do because it's the right thing. When my mom goes, I'll have ZERO regrets. I don't think my brother will feel any guilt, but that's HIS issue, not mine.

I know exactly what you're saying. My mother had three sons and me. Her sons were her joy. The two that are still living are her golden children. She lights up if they call her, which is something they do once or twice a month. Sometimes I use this to my advantage. If she is having a bad day, I call my brothers and tell them to call her. She brightens immediately. My brothers are like a dose of antidepressant to her.

Me, I'm just the lowly daughter. She was raised in the Deep South during a time when women were only good for breeding, and cleaning. I don't try to change her sentiments, since they are deeply ingrained.

Katie I could regal you with tales of how my brother did absolutely nothing and my Mom thought he pissed gold. Not to be crude, I don't really know you but it used to just burn my butt. I'd do everything for my Mom and my brother would walk in the door and it was like he shot moonbeams out of his butt.

You are definitely not alone my dear. As far as giving you a positive outlook I would like to but if your mom loves your brothers and they can do no wrong in her eyes there is probably nothing you can do to change that. If you were to start downgrading them to your Mom all that would do is make you look bad and your Mom would adolize them even more. But like I said you are not alone.

I don't mind the stories.......I hope I hear a stays that can give me a positive outlook. Until then even stories that help me realize I'm not the only one going through it

Oh katielemons you obviously are new to this thread. Just wait till every one gets warmed up. Stories galore............happy reading.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter