My two siblings are retired. I'm still working full-time during the week. One of my siblings refuses to work on weekends which leaves me and my sister to cover weekends. I work every other weekend and 3-4 nights during the week and they want me to add two more shifts. I am burning out as this has been on going for eight months. I have refused to work the extra shifts for self preservation. They state that I now have to pay them for any shifts I will not work out of my own pocket. I suggested paying for an outside care giver to give us all a break and pay for it with the estate money ( which I have POA). They explained that I should pay out of my share because I am the one messing things up with having a job.
To sum it up in a three week period there are 42 shifts( two per day, day and night) I do one less shift than each of them in that three week period. I'm desperate for feed back to know if I am being unreasonable.
To quote the resource hospice.net
10. Does hospice provide care 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?
Hospice staff is on call for emergencies 24 hours a day. Hospice care does not include a nurse in the home 24/7. If you require more care than can be provided in the home, some hospices have their own inpatient facilities. Most communities have nursing homes, inpatient residential centers and hospitals with hospice care options.
But, the fact that the siblings are thinking of Mom's money as "the estate" makes me suspect that the hands-on caregiving is being done to preserve Mom's money for an inheritance. That should never be the case while a person is in need of care, and it creates all sorts of problems, such as the demand that each sibling take equal time or forfeit part of his or her "share." If you think of this as Mom's money, saved to provide for her care needs, rather than your inheritance, it makes everything simpler and clearer. She has the right to leave her money to the local animal shelter if she likes.
Her children's presence is good for your mother: excellent. So be around as much as each of you is able and willing to manage; it is lovely that you are able to benefit her in this way. But there is no need for martyrdom on the part of any of you - you three are a supplement to hospice care, not the other way around.
You are POA. It is your RESPONSIBILITY to make financial decisions if Mother cannot. Your siblings want YOU to pay for mother's care. Absolute nonsense. Mother's money should pay for her care.
Mother can continue to be on hospice in a care center, if she remains eligible.
How about a nursing home? You all can still do your visits with mom and stay there for hours with her (or not). But atleast you the facility has people that can take care of her 24/7 - in shifts.
And, I don't think you should pay for someone to cover for you. It should be from your mom's money. I used to do that for years. I finally realized (after finding this website) that Dad should be paying for the paid caregivers. He has the money, it's for his care, and so be it.
To answer the question you actually asked, you are entitled to draw your boundaries wherever you choose to draw them. Your siblings will just have to deal with that. Your mother's care should be provided with her own money.