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it is in our DNA to do this! not everyone can, so unfair and still hurts!

Rather than dwell on the abandonment....

We have to think of ourselves as the gifted ones, WE possess a special quality few can get close to having!

I, all too well, know easier said than done!!! Just a different way to look at it maybe!!!

I sure know I am no Mariah Carey, Elvis, etc....and could not become one, if my or my parents life depended on it!!

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I just read a quote which much more eloquently makes my point, I have trouble articulating raw emotion into descriptive words.......

"Everybody is a genius but if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a tree, will always think the fish stupid"-Mark Twain
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darn it tho you got a good point why should I let them off the hook for being deadbeat siblings. except for I guess it would only work for me as they are both mentally ill, and unemployable so no way could they do anything but the hands on, and I am better without hands on, cause with it comes chaos! Shit...they living outta vehicles how they gonna send me a check, I was the one homing and setiing them up till this happened...
so I guess It is all situation specific!!!
thanks for the debate!!
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ya book it more a tool to not resent rather than logic...none of this makes any good sense. and yes they are "copping out" no doubt, I agree and respect that..

I don't word things the greatest. what I mean to portray is "stepping up" is a talent...a sign of good character . Not all people have good character but maybe it is chemical or genetic or some peeps just are better at certain things if i am gonna buy some BS im gonna buy the BS that makes me feel good!!
just It is the only thing that works for me... to focus on me...I have uniquely quality that I am a star at...taking care of ma!!! but It mite be easy to buy it for me cause I don't have a job to get out to that makes me feel productive. but also just to clarify..it is not the smell or poop it is emotionally they cannot cope with the inevitable outcome so they deny. disconnect and withdraw in every aspect from the process...if they don't have to take part in any way than it isn't happening.....Kinda thing...so never meant it was right just survival skill, no disrespect intended.
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I think saying that our siblings don't help because they can't handle it or not equipped to caregive is a cop out. If they can have children, and raise them, then they sure can handle an adult. Because they have Experience in taking care of someone. I can understand if it was an only child, and they spent all their lives among other people who never took care of children. Of course, I can see where they would be ill-equip to caregive.

Plus, if our siblings really, really wanted to help, they would say, "Hey, sis, since I can't be there to do my share of helping the parents, I can give you $$ to help out." I finally have 2 siblings doing that so that I can hire someone to come in on Saturdays until 3pm.

I had 2 teenage girls in high school who would automatically help me change my mom's pampers. These girls used to choke and gasp when mom had pooped. I had to tell them that it's all in the breathing. Breathe in wrong, the poop can choke you to death. =) And these are teens. So...our adult siblings can sure help if they wanted to. It's all on the "IF"....

I've learned to accept things "as is." and do my best not to resent them. Not worth it....
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Jujubean, you're right. We need to accept that we are doing the care, and for whatever reason, the siblings can't or won't.

If it were a talent, as you say, we would, could, should be a bit proud of our talent. I feel so bad for people who are tortured by anger at siblings who don't help. Y'all have every right to be angry about the unfairness. but anger is such a nasty exhausting place to live.

Shoutout to my sibs: My brother, sister and I have our issues, but for the 8 months of caring for my father, each of us did our part. I know that my mother would have been proud of us. I give her most of the credit.
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I don't really think of it that way, juju. I don't know what my brothers would do if I weren't here. I'm sure they would do what they needed to do. I don't begrudge them not being here. Our family is not a close, loving family, so I understand. When my ex and I split up, it just left me being the odd woman out. So I was "it." :)

I don't mind being here, really. The only bad thing is that I get bored and lonely. If there were a lot of fun things to do and I knew people, it would be tolerable. Caregiving can be such a lonely thing.
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last sentence I meant some siblings just cannot even cope with the process and withdraw like many do and mine did and don't take it personal is my twisted point!! .some just cant and some just can and there are more cans than cants...
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Do your siblings help tho or do you have issues with their level of support? just curious...
kinda was thinking of those who have huge problems with siblings just dumping the whole thing on one, abandoning the situation. that is the way the social worker explained it some are just not equipped so there solution is to withdraw! like myself!
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Oy, I am not gifted in being a caregiver. I am the one here because it made the most sense. Sometimes it just works out that way. My marriage fell apart and I work from home. My parents needed help. My brothers weren't available because of jobs, locations, and families. So here I am. The only two traits that I have that make me a reasonable caregiver are that I am organized most of the time and reliable all of the time.
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I understand. I got most of the gifts in our family. I'm the singer and the caregiver.
And I'm not jealous of my siblings at ALL. In fact, I just work harder to cram everything into my life that I can, and I DO. Who better to be the caring person than one who expresses emotion deeply and creatively? We are special.
I gladly skip the famous part, however, I wouldn't mind the extra money!
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didnt really understand your issue yaya, im just a one tracker and right now im focused on baldy, mole mans evaluation of me..the uni talented sob has got some nerve ill tell ya.
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im genetically predisposed to the musical arts ie:
got this b***h and she wont pack hod.
wont saw no brick wont make no mud.

meh, you get the point. just read my online medical records from the va and the phsyc said i had poor insight and poor judgement. well guess what brainiac, i dont have a bald head with moles all over it. insight means you can solve problems instantaniously. no thanks, id rather think them thru and get a lasting solution.. or better yet rethink them altogether. poor judgement? well hes got me there..
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and if we were famous singers we surely would be taking care of our entire family, with way less emotion as we do with this one....so horrible this task is that it takes that away from us, too!!!
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