BIL is POA, mom lives w/us we get no financial help.? VA & SSI benefits. He lives 500 miles away and is POA. Mom lives with my husband and me. She is now bedridden and her bed is in my kitchen. We pay for all of her needs. Our household expenses have skyrocketed since she moved in in June 2016. Her insurance pays for some home health aids that come in for bathing and to give me a short break. We never hear from BIL and when we ask for help financially he refuses. She has a house in our town that's paid for. She gets SSI and VA benefits from her late husband. We don't get anything. He says that money just covers her household. She has a car that she pays upkeep, registration and insurance on so he doesn't have to rent one when he comes to visit which has been once this year for 2 days. I am the primary caregiver. I can't work with her here because she can't be left alone so we are down to 1 income. I am so angry and fear feeling bitter towards her (not yet). Shouldn't her benefits go towards her living expenses and not upkeep on a car she can't drive and empty house? We wanted a stair lift so she could have a private room and we could have some comfort in our home. His response was " if she dies in a month its a waste of money. My level of burnout is at its peak. I know this won't last forever but I'm living on stress and anger. Any suggestions?