This is all so new to us...

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My 89 year old mother-in-law has lived with us for the bast 5 years. During that time she has always some form of short-term memory loss. She would ask us over and over again what day it is or if she had taken her meds and so on. Not a big deal all in all and just something we've learned to live with.

However over the course of the past 5 weeks or so she has taken a sharp decline. Of course it all started with a fall that took her to the hospital...no big deal...nothing broken...just bruised and sore. However ever since she is now more confused than ever. Home health was with us for a while after her fall just to make sure that she was doing okay and to help us out. They also noticed the sharp decline in her memory and thought processes.

The hardest part however is the following: For the past 2-3 weeks she goes every other day thinking that her husband has just died (he passed away 6 years ago) and goes into deep mourning and grieving. Even worse than she did when he actually did pass. What's worse is she doesn't understand why we are all not grieving with her and going on about our business as usual. She can't understand why the other kids or the rest of her family are not calling her to offer condolences.

To add to that...on the days that she is not loosing her husband and grieving she is convinced that it's the day the Lord is coming and that we all need to be prepared...she spends every moment reading her bible, praying and pleading the blood of Jesus over all of us.

We are at our wits end in knowing exactly how to deal with all of this.

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Thank you everyone for your comments and suggestions. Yes we do share the same faith and often sit and pray with her. We are trying our utmost to be patient and understand. It hurts us so to see her in so much pain over and over again. And for my poor husband it's like reliving his father death over and over each time.

We try hard to re-direct her thoughts and so on...however she's always been one that just won't let anything go and once she get something in her head it's hard to get it out. Today is again a day that he just died and she is mourning his loss. She wants to call everyone and let them know...even people who have already passed away. I had my Sister-in-law call her to try to distract her, but it didn't work...she continues to want to call everyone. I keep telling her that everyone already knows.

The sad part is that this morning she was really like her old self...crazy what just a few short hours can do.
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It must be very upsetting for your Mom to relive her husband's death. If I were you, I'd simply try to comfort her. Regarding her faith, eternity is more clearly before her. Have her listen to praise music, and pray with her (if you share the same faith). Simply love her and be gentle towards her.

Is she on hospice?
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I would take her to a geriatric Dr...
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Wow...this is a tough one. I don't have any answers for you, but my heart and prayers go out to you. The day to day stuff is hard enough, but it sounds like someone threw prunes in your daily hell soup. Good luck dear.
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