She has lost control of finances. She has given cash away to grandchildren who come to visit and now she can't pay her share of the rent.

Follow
Share

She doesn't give a care about anyone anymore. She has no idea how much money she has and just keeps spending. Forcing her to move end of June because I can't afford her. She wouldn't sign the Medicaid application and can't afford a care facility or AFH. She only gets $1800/mo. I have no legal powers. Niether brother helping but older one just calling me names and threatening to come take her away but won't. Younger one helping his son's family and does understand what an obstinate, stubborn old woman she can be--he's in Idaho. I am nearly shot mentally. I will find some way out. Have already had a vessel spasm heart attack. Must work M-F 8-5 and won't work 2 jobs 24/7. I will not cut her icky toenails nor wait on her. She is untruthful about what she can actually see with her macular degeneration and what she can truly hear. Selective hearing is what she has. I am the only daughter so everyone thought best for me to help. Thanks for listening. Will be free end of June this year. No regrets. No looking back. What set me off today was, I went home for lunch to check her and have coffee with my 2 little dogs she hates, and found she had let the grandkids, each 300lbs plus, clean out the freezer so my mac and cheese lunches were gonzo. Can't buy any more groceries until she pays me her part of the rent...LATE. I don't care if I sound spoiled or not. She is two-faced and passive aggressive I didn't recognize those as negative personality traits in myself until I learned I had those during Myers-Briggs training in the military. She speaks disparigingly to my daughter and other family members within ear shod about me often. Then how do I be nice to her after that? Just want to be alone. Also learned I am an introvert in M-B training. It has been very helpful.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
7

Comments

Show:
If your brother is going to come get her in June (HURRAY!), don't tell him too much about what it's like to live with her. You don't want him to back out of the plan!
(1)
Report

Please go online to psychologytoday.com search "How narsisists really think" might help you get through the next 2.5 months.
(0)
Report

SueC1957, I am 1955. She won't sign the MCD app because she "doesn't want the government in her business". I said, Mom, Medicare IS the government too. Where would you be without that?? She didn't want them to come take her jewelry boxes. She has nothing. She is just being obstinate. Yes, a spender. She would always buy new furniture or make Dad go into the city when she could. She was bored and depressed over there and told my aunt, her youngest sister still living, that if she didn't have us three kids she would have "off-ed" herself whilst over there. Mu aunt had gone over for a visit soon after we moved over there. Yet, she is a fiesty little old German who swears she has never been depressed. I think it has been so her entire life, now that I know what it is and am looking back. Think positive? OMG, now THAT is what would kill her. I am one of the lucky ones to be able to end this so soon. Maybe I should start cutting back on the chardonnay now...
(1)
Report

That's great that he's coming to get her; and glad that YOU know about Teepa Snow.

If she gets along better with your brother (or maybe just because he's a man) she may listen to him about finances. Or he may need to get guardianship.
(1)
Report

BarbBrooklyn--this is a classic siblings-hate-me-for-trying scenario, so big brother keeps threatening to come get her and move her back to the rural part of the state, where she hated life and Dad died and left her. He so doesn't understand and thinks I am throwing her out to live on the street in poverty. I did learn from my niece today that he is cleaning up the old bathroom and bedroom and has plans to come get her afterall. I am very fortunate. He has some things to learn. Guess I'd better tell him about Teepa Snow!! He will need some training!
(1)
Report

You don't sound spoiled. You sound sane.

Your mother sounds as though she has dementia and needs to be in a care center. Where is she going to live after she leaves your domicile?
(2)
Report

DoneOne,
I can tell why you picked your screen name. It is so hard living with our older patents at times.

Do you know her reason for not signing the Medicaid application? That would open so many doors for her with extra money for a facility.

It sounds like she's definitely moving in June, so that will hopefully put you back where you need to be financially.

Has she always been a spender and irresponsible or is this new behavior?

You do NOT sound spoiled. You sound as though you've had enough. A Pop-Eye moment, "It's all I can stands, and I can't stands no more." Then the spinach can pops out of his chest. That's where you sound like you are.

Hang in there til June-only 2+ months left.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Related
Questions