She agrees never to buy anything off TV again, and I just caught her about to buy something off TV...


My mother and I had a long, long discussion about how: - Most stuff you buy off TV (infomercials, etc) is terrible - "Try it free for 30 days" means they will charge your card after 30 days - After 30 days, guess what? You're subscribed for life. - It is next to impossible to cancel. - You have no idea what your account number is because you ordered over the phone and didn't write anything down. - It isn't worth it. - It is SO NOT WORTH IT. - You can buy it off eBay/Amazon in most cases without getting stuck in a subscription. So we agreed. Never again. Never again. Just now, "Where's my debit card?" Me: "Down here, why?" (After she lost her debit card twice, I keep it in my purse) Her: "Give it to me! I found that stuff I want to buy!" Me: "Oh no... remember how I told you that we can buy it online instead? Whatever it is?" Her: "But they won't have the right stuff, the commercial said you have to call now, blah blah blah." Me: "No, no... no, no... you're going to get stuck in a subscription." Her: "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!" Me: "....??? Like Wen? And like Proactiv? Remember, we talked about this-" Her: "Oh my god, you just want to make sure I get the wrong thing! It's MY money!" I go to Amazon, buy her the stuff, and she's still not satisfied. She apparently won't be satisfied until she gets roped into a subscription.

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If this has reached such an advanced state you will have to remove any possibility of loved one being able to purchase anything. My mother finally accepted she could not have access to her checking account. I had to change numerous credit card because of bogus repeated charges. I had to tell her she had to stop buying anything over the phone or online. I had spent hours dealing with this. She finally accepted this after I told her she was making bad choices and causing me a great deal of frustration. If it doesnt stop you will have to remove the ability for her to do this. There are countless companies who take advantage of the elderly. I called many of them out on this and in instances had charges removed or negotiated a reduced payment. I told her she had to tell me what she needed and I would purchase it. I try to be fair and assess the need. You will continue to be driven to great frustration if she cannot curb this desire and has the ability to continue. I believe I changed at least 4 credit cards due to charges that would be billed monthly. I spent hours on the phone and was ready to tear my hair out each time until finally it hit home she could not continue to do this. You may feel bad but you will feel worse if you find a bunch of needless charges for worthless products.

cellytron its difficult, I had similar problems with my father God rest his soul. Always subscribing too magazines, clubs that send monthly packages worth 10% of monthly cost, as his health declined with lung cancer he was so often trying too find something too fill the day with ,was used working 12+ hour days but at 53 he couldn't anymore. And over the following 9 years he couldn't do much but read,watch TV,and crossword puzzles at end just TV ,he would call random numbers just too talk too people he didn't know while I was asleep thinking he was too. Wish he had just woke me up really miss him past 5 years. What annoys you now you will forever regret fussing with her over . its just money let her be you love her we all know. You Don't want too regret arguing with her in her last years over minor things like money . And from experience I can tell you that you definitely will regret it after God calls her home. Prayers and love too y'all and everyone

Perhaps you could try using the parental controls available on most TVs to block the shopping channel.

Cellytron, a neuropsychiatrist will happily sit you down and explain all about reward centres in the brain. When your mother sees one of these formulaic ads on tv and responds to it, her brain feels rewarded. It's nice. That's why she does it. And at that moment, any previous discussions about whether or not it's a good idea, and any promises she may have made, they just don't get a look in.

You could sit with her and talk her through how the ad. works, how it attracts and plays her as if she were a little lab rat with a debit card. You could even tape a picture of a cute one to her card, to remind her at the crucial moment. But the only way to get rid of the problem is to get rid of the t.v. and give her something more productive to do.

Oh, boy! That sounds totally frustrating.