This is like Alzheimer's Disease symptom #1 to me.
I can't find *object* = *insert name* stole it.
Those of us with reasoning skills know there are MANY other reasons an *object* is missing.
- Innocently put back wrong. - Taken away on purpose for safety (eg that sharp pocket knife) - Given away as a gift or handed down (but forgotten) eg Where is that good checked baby blanket? - Given to Good Will decades back (but forgotton) eg Where is my brown leather coat? I wear it all the time (well DID.. in 1984)
And my top reason; - Already 'hid' from 'theives'. This is where the watch gets found down the side of the toilet, the dentures wrapped in a tissue in the bathroom bin, the wallet wedged under the mattress & cash poked into socks.
Try to avoid arguing or into defence mode. Try "Let me help you look!"
Or even just start blaming the faeries, the goblins, or elves. Reckon that's what they were for 😊
Since dementia robs people of their ability to use logic and reason, there is no point in trying to convince her that you didn't take it. You must use other strategies, like placation, distraction, redirection.
When you placate her, this may look like you saying, "Let me help you look for it" and then pull something else out of the drawer or closet and start talking about it ("Oh look at these shoes...do they still fit you? Let's try them on to see...").
Or, you can completely ignore her accusation and point to something out the window ("Did you see that squirrel? She's here a lot..." ) or show her a funny animal video on YouTube (of which there are many). My elders love watching those videos. She may briefly get upset or try to circle back to the accusation, but you can always walk out of the room on some pretext ("I think I heard the doorbell...") etc.
In my personal experience it takes practice to deal with a LO's paranoia because our conditioned, knee-jerk reaction is to reason with them like we've done for decades. You will eventually figure out what works best to get her mind off that theft channel.
This is a common thing with dementia, they can't remember what they have done themselves so they look for some other explanation. Unfortunately the more paranoid they become the more they are apt to hide things so it's an escalating, never ending circle.
I can't find *object* = *insert name* stole it.
Those of us with reasoning skills know there are MANY other reasons an *object* is missing.
- Innocently put back wrong.
- Taken away on purpose for safety (eg that sharp pocket knife)
- Given away as a gift or handed down (but forgotten) eg Where is that good checked baby blanket?
- Given to Good Will decades back
(but forgotton) eg Where is my brown leather coat? I wear it all the time (well DID.. in 1984)
And my top reason;
- Already 'hid' from 'theives'.
This is where the watch gets found down the side of the toilet, the dentures wrapped in a tissue in the bathroom bin, the wallet wedged under the mattress & cash poked into socks.
Try to avoid arguing or into defence mode. Try "Let me help you look!"
Or even just start blaming the faeries, the goblins, or elves. Reckon that's what they were for 😊
When you placate her, this may look like you saying, "Let me help you look for it" and then pull something else out of the drawer or closet and start talking about it ("Oh look at these shoes...do they still fit you? Let's try them on to see...").
Or, you can completely ignore her accusation and point to something out the window ("Did you see that squirrel? She's here a lot..." ) or show her a funny animal video on YouTube (of which there are many). My elders love watching those videos. She may briefly get upset or try to circle back to the accusation, but you can always walk out of the room on some pretext ("I think I heard the doorbell...") etc.
In my personal experience it takes practice to deal with a LO's paranoia because our conditioned, knee-jerk reaction is to reason with them like we've done for decades. You will eventually figure out what works best to get her mind off that theft channel.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/dementia-and-paranoia-477589.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/alzheimers-theft-paranoia-or-forgetfulness-133383.htm