Now that the holidays are in full swing & the pressure is on,,,,I need to take a moment to "say" a few things that I clearly cannot verbalize and expect to maintain peace in the family. This is a safe place,,,you're invited to join me in getting this outta your system! I'll start:
*You cannot join your father & me for Thanksgiving because your daughter is coming to your house?
My response: Your daughter is single, 24 and lives 4 hours away. Your father is newly widowed, 90 & you haven't spent a holiday with him in 30 years. I might be wrong, but I'd wager you've got a few more ahead of you with your daughter than your father. We are less than 2 hours apart - she was invited too, you know.
* You can't come to spend a day with Dad because you have to get your house ready for Christmas.
My response: Really? You haven't been to see him in 3 months. You live alone with your husband. My house is "ready" for Christmas and I've had an elderly man, a dog,4 bedroom house, a husband & full-time job to maintain .
*What does Dad want for Christmas?
My response: How about picking up the phone and asking him yourself? He has his own phone and I'm sure he'd really love to hear from you.
*Can't come up to visit because I have to go Christmas shopping.
My response: Gee, I'd like to go shopping without my 90-year-old father in tow - who tires easily, doesn't like to waste time in the stores, has his own agenda & needs me with him when he needs to shop, and insists on sitting in the car when I need to stop at the fabric or craft store (making me feel rushed). I use the internet & my lunch hours....It would be a nice gift if you took Dad to Walmart & let me shop alone for a couple of hours.
THERE!!!! I've "said" the things I need to get off my chest!!! I can let them go now & go back to being patient, smiling & agreeable!
Thanks for letting me vent - and again, feel free to join me!!! Happy Holidays!