There are three of us; daughters of two parents who are unraveling at the same time. Mom has dementia and Dad who has experienced a sudden decline of general health over the last 6 months.
I am the youngest, my oldest sister has been very active in Dad's care, and the middle sister has been involved from a distance, but when she does come in to 'help' tends to disrupt, and even hinder care and progress.
My primary concern is that the middle sister has a more active interest in the financial considerations for our parents' end-of-life care. On several occasions she has asked legal and financial professionals about 'hiding the money'.
I have directly expressed this concern with her, and have yet to receive any response. Given several occurrances of dishonestly and omissions related to Dad's medical care, I'm highly skeptical of her agenda. ( She used to plot his death as a teen.)
Meanwhile, the oldest sister feels I'm overreacting and highly emotional. I have had an emotional conversation with the oldest sister; it was Christmas eve, I had just spent the 3rd time in 6 mos in the emergency room with Dad, and was over-wrought with concern for his soul...spiritual matters.
SO, I'm feeling like I really need to step back on all fronts. Criticism for not trusting the middle sister, judged for having a melt-down, and feeling a bit misunderstood and largely disrespected; I really want to walk away from this mess and let the two older sisters deal with the heavy stuff like emergency room visits and VA trips.