Mom won't put dirty clothes in the hamper and tends to wear the same things every day. She does put underwear aside, but then when I wash them, she always says 'I JUST DID THEM YESTERDAY!' which she didn't. She's also taken dirty underwear and put it back into her drawer because she said it was clean (it wasn't), so I had to re-wash it. Then she took that clean underwear off the line, put into a laundry bag, and was going to wash again. All this activity includes agitation and yelling. She wants to do it herself, but she never does. My sister said I should just stop washing mom's clothes but I just can't do that.

I'm going to bring this up in a letter before mom's next neurologist appointment, but I was looking for any helpful hints in the meantime. He prescribed generic Aricept (10 mg) last year. Thanks so much!

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Thanks for your input, Jeannegibbs. To further clarify, I live with my mom (her house) & since she no longer drives she's always here. I take her to the hairdresser weekly, but it's not long enough to wash/dry/put away an entire load. She won't go to the senior center, or the library, etc. My sister lives quite a distance, so I don't get any help from her, other than suggestions that we begin investigating nursing homes. I don't feel my mother is at that stage yet.

I wrote on the calendar the day we did laundry so that I can show her. Even though mom doesn't want me doing her laundry, she has a hard time operating the washer now. One time she poured the detergent in the 'softener' dispenser. I will try your advice of 'getting sneaky,' so thanks again!

Sounds like Mom's dementia has taken a new twist. Can you and sister do her laundry without it being so obvious? Can you take it home, bring it back clean, and quietly place it in her drawers? Maybe buy her lots more undies, so she won't miss some while they are at your house? I guess your goal would be 1) to keep Mom in clean undies and 2) don't upset her about it. If you have to be sneaky to meet both goals at the same time, sneak away! And if she wants to re-wash clean undies or other clothes, no harm done, eh?

I guess I'd try not to argue. If she "JUST DID THEM YESTERDAY" don't say "no, you didn't" but try "Oh, Mom, I'm sorry. The top one didn't look clean so I just assumed they needed washing. My fault. Now I guess they'll be extra clean. Is it time for our ice cream snack?"

Don't argue. Get sneaky. Write to the neurologist before her next appointment.

Good luck!

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