I live with my mom, who has moderate dementia/Alz. She acknowledges that she has a "memory disorder", but is unable to grasp the reality of the effect that has on her inability to manage activities of daily living, or the overall cognitive loss that goes along with the illness. I have been unemployed (left my job to relocate and become mom's caregiver) and with her full time for 2 years, but finances require that I return to part-time work now. Mom has also become socially isolated as her friends have pulled away, and she needs to engage more with people. She agreed to enroll in a very nice senior center day care program for high functioning folks with dementia, but after 1 day refuses to go back, because she can't identify with being someone who needs to be in an "institutional" setting. We can't afford in-home care (or assisted living) and she can't be left alone all day, but keeps circling over & over through those alternatives, belligerent about not returning to the program. She is pyhsically healthy and strong, which adds to the challenge of her accepting that she needs constant assistance.
Mom has rational moments where she understands her need to cooperate and honor my guidance as her caregiver, but reverts back to refusal and defensiveness when she becomes more emotionally reactive and unable to think. I do have compassion for how challenging it must be for her to let go of her perception of herself as independent, smart and competent, yet still need to find a practical solution for her comprehensive care. Any suggestions would be deeply appreciated.