My 75 year old father allows two dysfunctional adults to live with him, who are not related.he has refused to kick them out. Help!!! My father has diabetes, takes all kinds of medicine and had a heart attack last year. These two people are parasites, thee husband (Stewart Hayden) lives in my old room in a heap of garbage. The smell is so putrefying no one wants to visit. The wife, (Sheila Hayden-Bolivar) ask my father to pay for all sorts of services and things, which he willing obliges too. We feel he is in love with her, although she is the same age as my sister, 50.

Shiela, in the past has thrown hot coffee on my father and has physically attacked him, all of which he denies.

My sister lives in the house to act as a buffer and help my father the best she can...She called me a few weeks ago and allowed me to listen to a huge argument in which the police had to be called. Apparently, the couple were yelling at each other for the last four nights while my sister had been away. My sister was notified by a neighbor. The fight erupted due to Stewart intervening in my father's behalf stating he was protecting my father from Sheila, which my father denied again.

It's his house and he allows it so we really feel there is nothing we can do. Why he allows it is a paradox...

I have told my sister to move out for her own benefit. However, if she does, my father will be further abused, financially and physically.

Any advice would be helpful.

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I agree that the decision he makes about his living situation doesn't seem to make sense. But is there any other evidence of mental illness? How is his memory? A court would not say that preferring friends to family is not evidence of incompetency, I fear.

We tend to think he's not in his right mind...After all, who would want so much chaos in ones retirement years...? He has made his decision for them over his own family. My brother would visit them more if they situation was better.He has told my father this and he chose them....very sad indeed....

Is your father in his right mind? Is there any sign of dementia?

Competent adults are allowed to make their own decisions, even very bad or self-destructive decisions. It is kind of your sister to want to be protective, but there is only so much she can do, and if she decides to move out I would not blame her.

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