Just moved my Mom into assisted living due to recent hospital stay. She says she's lonelier there than being in her own home with no one visiting..She's 85, dementia, chronic uti's that currently is requiring her to have a Foley catheter. It tears me up when she cries because she wants to be in her home.

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3kidsma, I know it is a big change for all of you. It sounds like your mother is where she needs to be to receive the best care possible. People often want to remain in their homes, but homes don't have the staff and the services that ALFs do. You will still be able to visit her often and she may be able to make some friends at her new place. Some people dislike a facility when they first move in -- too much change in a life that has already changed so much. When they get used to it, they often start to like their new lives.

Please don't feel guilty. I have a feeling you looked at all the options and chose the one you knew was best at the moment. I hope your mother settles in and starts to enjoy things there. I hope she makes friends she can spend some good hours with. If her old life was not working well, this gives it a chance to work better. That is what we all hope for.

Yes, I'm sure it does tear you up when she wants to be home. It is very, very sad when our loved ones are no longer safe on their own. Dementia is very, very sad. You are doing the right thing but that doesn't mean it is easy.

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