My 92-year-old Grandma just moved in and falls a lot during the night.

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How can we let her sleep in her own room with out me sleeping in the same room/bed as her? Right now she and I are sleeping in my Dads king size bed in his room and he is sleeping in my room. We are moving her stuff into or house this weekend, and then she is going to start sleeping in her own bedroom on the other end of the house. She gets up to use the bathroom at night and falls into the floor. She never calls out for help, but she ends up making enough noise to wake me up. Her new bedroom is on the opposite end of the house from my room and Dads room. There is no other choice in where her room can be, we live in a mobile home. It is impossible to get any sleep when in the same room with her. She moans loudly all night, and talks in her sleep. I get woken up every hour or so, never longer than 2 hours. She has a potty chair right next to the bed, not even 2 feet away, but she still manages to fall. I've thought about getting a bed alarm, but if she just gets up to go to the bathroom and doesn't fall, it would wake us up for no reason. I've also thought about an automatic fall monitor.but they call for emergency services and she has never hurt herself in a fall.She would forget about having a call button or other call system. She forgets what time/day/month/year it is. She wakes up in the middle of the night thinking it's morning and gets dressed. And wakes me up saying we over slept. I'm at my wits end and it hasn't even been 2 weeks! I am getting very little sleep and it is starting to make me physically sick. My Dad won't sleep in the same bed as her, and there is no room for a second one either. Please, is there anyone who knows of a automatic fall monitor that doesn't call emergency services, or anything else that would help? She can barley hear without hearing aides, you have to talk really loudly right into her ear and she is almost completely blind. Maybe I'm making this to complicated and there is a simpler solution. We sleep with several lights on in the bedroom. Please, if anyone has ANY input or advice, please please please let me know. 3 hours of sleep a night are just not enough for me.

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Shelley, you can have a room full of nurses and aides, and an elder in that room will find a way to fall in a blink of an eye. There is zero way of preventing it unless you hire a Caregiver and glue her to your parents.

Thus, all that electronic equipment you want to purchase will not stop any of the falls because you wouldn't be able to get to your parents quick enough.

My Dad was a major fall risk, and thankfully he decided it was time to ditch the house with all those stairs and move into senior living. Dad's private caregiver would help Dad from sitting to standing so he wouldn't fall. But if she was doing laundry, sure enough somehow Dad would tumble over.... and all he was doing was trying to tie his shoe while sitting in his recliner.

What was nice where my Dad lived was there was always a nurse available 24 hours, so it was up to her to decide whether to call 911 or not. The Aides would continue to check in on Dad during the day [or night, whenever he fell] to make sure he was doing fine.
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There are motion sensor systems, Shelly. And there are also pressure pad devices that link to an alert that you carry around with you - if you check out Tunstall Healthcare, you'll see the kind of thing and you can find US equivalents.

Now the bad news. I suspect that what you want is the holy grail that I used to pray for - a system that would alert me *before* my mother got out of her chair and tottered off towards her bathroom.

At the present state of technology, with its deplorable failure to read the (broken) human mind, there ain't no such thing. Getting there pronto after the event is the best you can do.

And even if you had a video monitor you can't stare at it 24/7. There will always remain a degree of unpreventable risk, and learning to breathe through it and not cry with frustration is part of the journey.

You're right that your father can't remember to use his call button. I envy how fast you've got that point, it took me years and tears.
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Wow, that's a long list of requirements Shelly, and you are posting at the tail end of a thread that is 5 years old so you may not reach as many people as if you had asked your own question. Have you looked at baby monitors? It seems to me there are several that have audio/video and night vision. And have you considered a bedside commode to eliminate the bathroom trips, along with bed  assist rails to help mom/dad get up?
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I'm desperate to receive name and model recommendations for a video monitoring system to keep an eye on my dad when he gets up on his own & before he falls. I've been searching online for hours and can't find a product that meets my particular needs. Plus I don't understand the ins-and-outs of this . The wireless bed pad and chair pad I recently purchased don't alert me soon enough. I can't use a laser alarm on the side of the bed because the dog jumps up and down on their bed all the time.
My specific needs include:
- my cell phone has no more space for apps so I need to buy a new phone or use a camera that comes with a monitor. I love the idea of internet access from anywhere . However I'm pretty sure I'll have a weak moment and tell my siblings how to access it. I will regret that at some point & hope there would be a way to restrict access via a new password.
- The television volume is so loud that I don't think I could use the audio feature to listen in. Does anyone know of an alarm based on movement? One that is not super sensitive? To use that feature I'd have to deal with the dog tripping the alarm.
I'd still like to be able to listen in when the TV is off.
My dad has rung a bell for me for years but lately he's either being stubborn or dementia is preventing him from remembering to use it. My mom's eyesight is so bad she doesn't even realize he's gotten up. She usually refuses to wear her hearing aids. As she ages she's become selfish. I tell her what an issue this is yet it's got to be her way always.
-I need a camera in the bedroom with night vision that can be moved to the den or I probably need two cameras to avoid setting angles each day - bedroom & den
-My mom has started falling recently so I need a camera that would have a wide enough lens angle to view two lazy boys with a small table between them.
At night in the bedroom they have two twin adjustable Serta beds pushed together.
-My dad usually doesn't get up and uses a urinal but when he does get up he falls and it can be bad as he is on coumadin. When his Lewy Body dementia is particularly bad he seems to have the strength to get out of bed by himself.
On the other hand my mom gets up throughout the night and walks to the bathroom. I guess I would just need to wake up for whatever movement occurs because it's better than them falling.
It would be awesome if I could speak to them but not sure if the television volume would prevent that. I would only be saying "Please sit down. I'm on my way."
-I just received an Amazon Dot. Haven't read the instructional book I purchased but if there is an effective way to utilize that it could be cool. Certainly not necessary because I don't even know what it does yet.
- I'm ashamed to admit this part. I started back smoking cigarettes and last night my dad fell because he didn't ring the bell and for some reason decided to go to his bed very early. I feel horrible about this and need a way to monitor him at all times. I don't spend much time in the den anymore because they watch Mash reruns all the time and the volume is outrageous. I cannot afford to go deaf. Their hearing aids are extremely expensive.
-The motion detector alert would be very useful. I don't want to be staring at an app the whole time I'm on a cigarette break or in my bedroom. Not sure how that works since I would be doing stuff on my phone. Can the app be set to alert for movement and at that point I can quickly go to video or run inside?
I know I've given a lot of specific information relative to my needs. I would so greatly appreciate any advice or feedback from someone currently using
a video monitoring system - both recommendations and cautionary tales are appreciated. I'm hoping I don't have to spend a fortune. This will give me so much peace of mind. Sometimes I get stuck in analysis paralysis and can't get past the extensive researching and commit to a specific product. For some reason I always look at reviews from worst to best. I'm discouraged from the get-go. I hope I've placed this very long question in the correct area. Feel free to let me know if I should move it to get better results. By the way, so many websites that offer these systems also sell them. I distrust that.
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Bed alarms can be annoying if they are too sensitive, but the ones with a longer attachment that allows for movement help.

Floor pads that set off an alarm when there is weight on them are helpful.

Taking care of falls is scary but in the end we make a choice between over restraining and chancing a fall. The idea of over restraining is horrible for the person who feels imprisoned isn't acceptable. Falls aren't either but some risk is involved in the elder having some choices and some dignity. It's a tough balance and the caregiver isn't always going to get it right. We need to forgive ourselves since there is no perfect answer.

Good luck!
Carol
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We use a baby monitor and she has a lift chair that makes a lot of noise when getting up. We have used a bed alarm. We used it when my grandma was first home from rehab after breaking her neck as she would try to get up without telling anyone and she is a definite fall risk and also likes to wander forgetting where the bathroom is. (I had special locks put on the door to keep her from opening it to try to 'find' the bathroom out there). Bed alarms but the one my grandma had was waay too sensitive. If she even so much as wiggled a bit or leaned to one side, it would go off plus it crinkled keeping her and I awake. Like i said we use a video monitor and the noise she makes getting up wakes me up so i can help her.
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I got my dad a bed alarm.He must have assistance in the bathroom(he has no colon and uses the toliet many times through the night) For some reason he only seems too fall at night
Yes that alarm wakes me up and I help him in the bathroom for a few minutes. I get more sleep now
Before alarm I couldnt hear him til he fell. Then I would have to call for help it would turn into a 3 hour ordeal.( He is very large man once he goes down I must call neighbor or fire department if he is injury ambulamce) My sleep is interrupted but I get a whole lot more. I am no longer following ambulamces to hospital.
Its is hard and very exhausting
Just remember to also take care of yourself
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A bed monitor, while it would wake you often, seems to be the option here, as you don't want to be working with dispatchers and 9-1-1 calls in this situation. If she were alone that would be the idea.
It seems to me that she may qualify for nursing home care. There's only so much of this you can do without damaging your own health. I'd check into it for her safety and your sanity.
Take care,
Carol
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