I'm feeling like I'm the only one with the following problem but I am sure I'm not. My father passed away 21 years ago and before he died he asked that I put my mother's bank accounts and home in my name also is something happened to him. I am the middle child, a daughter. I have one older and one younger brother who are very greedy and this my father new. My youngest brother has a drug problem and has kept my mother in poverty monthly by taking her social security. My older brother and I live in another state. My mother is now 89 and just diagnosed with lung cancer. My youngest brother has moved in with her and my older brother insisted that I turn over her bank accounts to him so he could manage them. She has not asked me to do this so I told him I couldn't without specific orders from her, after all she is still alive. She will have medical bills due to the cancer and also funeral expenses if she passes. He blew up at me and told me that I have been nothing but useless since my father died. He has done nothing but continues to call me names. I have decided for my own well being to cut it off completely from both of my brothers. They are too toxic. I am a widow and have my own problems to deal with and I cannot stand their abuse. They were very abusive to me growing up, the older one used to beat on me a lot and I didn't even realize at the time that it wasn't normal. Then as we got older both of them abused me. Has anyone out there dealt with this kind of situation that could give me some advice?

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If everything is in your name, not hers, you dont have anything to give. After 21 years, not even medicaid would get a piece. If you like your mom, and thats a big if - especially if she knew of the abuse and did mothing to stop it- you could see of she will move to your area for treatment & give you durable poa. If not, i might offer to pay for assited living, or i might let the gmt pay for her care and let the chips fall where they may. The things given to you at dads death could be considered paying you off for the abuse you suffered and he knew about. Look for children of narcissistic parents groups on other public forums, as most people have no idea how bad abude can be.

Do you trust your younger brother with the drug problem to take care of your mother? You wrote that he takes her SS check and leaves her in poverty?

My advice is to see a good attorney who can help you protect her assets.

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