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My mother is in assisted living and hates it. My mother tells my sister and I that she doesn’t like living alone. She calls on weekends and states do I have to be stuck at the assisted living facility ! Constant guilt and selfishness.
I will be glad when it’s her turn to go!

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".. doesn’t like living alone".

I see it's been hard for you (insert empathetic voice 😕).

So what are you going to do about that Mother?

Bounce that back to her - her life afterall.

Let any *hints* to be saved by you just fall to the ground ignored.
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Your mother is not 'alone' in Assisted Living, she's just calling you with guilt trips for some reason, as many of them love to do. My advice to you is to call the activities director of the AL. Ask if they're knocking on your mother's door to encourage her to join in the planned activities? If not, they need to start doing that right away. Also, ask the AD if your mother is joining in on her own? I find that I have to fact check everything my mother claims is happening in her Memory Care ALF. 90% of what she says is untrue. When she lived in the regular part of the AL and claimed to be lonely & have 'nothing to do' and that she was 'bored', there were times I'd check on her. She'd be laughing it up with the other residents having a grand old time. If she saw me, she'd immediately be all glum and sad, playing the Poor Poor Pitiful Me game. Not buyin' it ma, plain & simple.

Go check on her when she's claiming this or that. See for yourself what's going on (or not going on, as it were) so you'll have some ammunition of your own!

If she's just moved into the AL, give her time to adjust. And let the calls go directly to voice mail, that's my suggestion. That way, you can pick & choose the calls you want to respond to.

Best of luck!
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I doubt that she will change. I don’t know if you will like my answer. I was thinking that you could place your phone on the counter in the kitchen. Pour yourself a nice glass of wine and let her vent as you sip 😊. In a couple of minutes, pick up the phone, and politely say that you have another call coming in.

Really, what else can you do at this point?

Unless there is a legitimate reason for her to be complaining or you feel that she needs medical attention, then you will have to develop coping skills. Be thankful she is in a facility and not your home.

Check with her staff. If they say that she is fine. Then she can ramble while you enjoy your Pinot or Chardonnay!

Best wishes to you.
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