The last week or 2 have been different. More confused, toileting problems, not sleeping at night, acting more tired. Still has sense of humor but talking with staff caring today I was told my loving spouse told her "I would rather just die than be like this". Where have I been, I love him so much, visit him daily and take him on outings when possible. He tells me to take care of myself and he loves me very much. My heart is breaking, can't do anything for him but love him and pray...which I do, but it seems he is worsening in spite of love and prayers. I am not that ignorant, I have read many articles about this wicked disease but at the same time I am caving in. He has been in assisted living 7 months and physically I have recuperated, getting needed rest and outings etc...but these recent changes have hit me like a brick. I knew what the future holds but when it is displayed more I get so sad, restless, what more can I do attitude, can't seem to accept things. I thought I was getting ahold of things these last few months but now am wondering if I have a hold on anything after all. Reality is getting closer I feel and I am at a loss how to accept it. What is wrong with me? I have faith, I do, but how can I accept what is happening?