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Have some fun with this question you guys!

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i dont have a humorous reply but id advise a newcomer to listen to the elder. little things are a big deal to a near helpless elder.
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Always LOOK before you SIT!
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Buy a plastic tierra and wear it every time you get together with family. Stand your ground that you are princess for the day!!
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good grief bonichak, that is both hilarious and horrying at the same time, i actually laughed out loud. so true!
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Stock up on Beer and Toilet Paper. Nothing else matters.
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I love you guys, keep going!
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Buy some suppositories, and instead of giving them to mom, put one in each ear and relish the Sounds of Silence.
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Embrace wet wipes, portable urinals, carpet cleaner and chux, all the best!!
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If your patient develops a bad cold or flu, give them Prozac. It won't cure the flu but it helps stop the complaining.
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Convince Grandpa that the Wellbutrin is actually generic Viagra.
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boni - shouldn't you have an "h" between the "s" and the "i"?
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How about a version of "He Ain't heavy, he's my brother"

♪♪♪ "She's too heavy, she's my mother" ♪♪♪
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When you ask him if he poop, and he says, "No", don't believe him. Just change his Depends, anyway.
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When it's meal time and you're dispensing his herbal supplements.... if he tells you that morning shift (me) did not give him this, and this and that... Don't automatically believe him. Verify first before dispensing. That's why he's breaking out from hives - he's getting more dosage than is recommended.
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Don't put off cleaning the poopy mess on the beddings. Best to clean it when it's still "freshly" made and easy to come off from the garden hose. Wait for it to dry, and you have some scrubbing to do before putting it in the washer.
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Get to a Elder Law Attorney yesterday!!! Make sure you have POA's and have Attorney write up a caregiver payment agreement!!!!!
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Welcome to hell.
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Remember when it was dinner and a movie? Welcome to now its dinner and a diaper.
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Haha Horsepilot....Dinner and a dump...meaning dumping guilt, a diaper load, dumping the food on the floor, dumping paranoia, delusions,...and the latest on the neighbors.
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What? My mother is fine. It's me that has problems!
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You have to pick your battles.. So.. Avoid all arguments.. Bite your tongue..
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Appreciate the little Joys on this Journey. They are few and far between. Ask questions about the "old" days. I've heard some REALLY juicy family gossip, since Mom's filter is gone.
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Never let your guard or anything else down "they know you are new"
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Never admit you have never done it before. Just take the suppository out and remove the foil.
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B.Y.O.T.P.
Work this one out for your self!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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DNR does not mean "does not remember"
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If grandma is asleep for your whole shift remember to check her pulse.
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Bring your own Toilet paper!!! LOL! I hide a roll. I like it white not brown!
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Um…. RUN!!! Like, duh, obviously. ;D
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It is a joke… somedays not a very funny one… my humor is waxing darker these days, I'm sure most of you understand. : )
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