I quit my job and moved in with my 93yr old mother to care for her. I can't get any help from my brother or grandkids to help with her care for a week so I can get away. Ive heard of RESPITE but I either don't know where to go for help or the places Ive gone won't help because she has a CD in the bank that she lives off the intrest she receives...Does anyone know where in California I can get help.

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Respite = time for yourself. It can be done at home by having an aide come in, or day care, or a nursing home. Respite can be a social services 'award' or it can be something you pay for yourself.

If your mother has too much income to qualify for state or agency funded respite, you might consider asking her (or whoever manages her money) to pay for someone to come in while you go out. If the interest on the CD is only enough for living expenses and you both have no other money, check with local non-profits and senior centers and see if there are any compassionate awards for even a few hours.

I am also a caregiver 24//7 for my mom - I like to advise other caregivers that although it is hard, try to find some type of job or volunteer work - you can do it online or make other arrangements for flexible employment. It will keep you from feeling so vulnerable and help you take a step back into the working world. It will also give you a way to network and earn income that you will need to make the transition back into the world on the day that you no longer are caring for your parent.

Isolation is a real killer for caregivers. This board is great as an online tool, but make certain that you do something that keeps you connected to others locally that you can see face to face - even if you are making phone calls or stuffing envelopes for the local YMCA or church.

hang in there

Contact your Dept of Aging in the County listings where you live. They can point you in the correct direction. Many senior assisted living facilities provide respite. I know the Atria facility in my area does but you will have to pay. Hope this helps.

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