I am a 67 yr old residing and caring for my mom who was diagnosed dementia about a year ago. Of course it’s getting worse.
She will be 94 in Aug. She still feeds her dog and takes care of changing her pads herself ( cleaning herself) but after wrecking her car, then I took over her financial stuff (bank acct) she would have meltdowns / I got her on 2 pink pills a day which helped but still... it’s rough. We’ve lived together for many many yrs 14 or more... when she got divorced, in the middle of that he died, so I’ve stuck with her helping her mess, probate, lawyers, then realtors that talked us into a place we couldn’t afford and lost... then her dog died, I lost my job after 33 yrs, and my 12 yr relationship ended... it’s been like my life was set aside and I’ve gone through the trenches with her , now the dementia! It’s been SO hard living with my mom as a grown woman to begin with now dealing with unfamiliar ground with this dementia taking her over. She went out in her 80’s got a young dog... cause I had one, she accuses me of taking her things, calls me a liar, doesn’t appreciate all I do yet I continue. I treat her well, cook for her, make coffee for her, cut up her food, etc. She has one neighbor friend, and mills around the house obsessing on her electric blankets or whatever. I want to try and figure out how to get her to a daycare once or twice a week she probably will fight me on that. Everyone who knows my situation all have said she needs to be placed because it’s very stressful on me and more. But I just cannot bear separating her and her little dog , and can’t fathom telling her mom you’re going to live somewhere else now without your dog and leave your home. I just can’t find it in my heart to do that so I’m taking on all of this I don’t suppose I will place her till the day comes where she doesn’t know who I am then maybe. Just the thought of telling her you’re going to stay somewhere else now mom it terrifies me. I wouldn’t/ couldn’t even think about that day. It would not be one of those great big money sucking places, but would try to get her in a group home perhaps although those are pricey too, but not as bad. I dread getting out of bed every day. I have no life, no boyfriend, and when I go away with a girl friend of mine she acts cold to me after. Then the guilt.... this is depressing. I never thought I would go on antidepressants , but I am on them and still am struggling. She is no fun to be around that’s for sure. My life is just a sense of dread.