Follow
Share

5 months ago my sister kicked my mom out of her house. My mom is 69 and moved in with me, my husband my two teens. My whole life has been turned upside down. I’m very depressed, my mother sneaks alcohol, she can be mean, she ALWAYS asks where I’m going. She takes over my tv and if I want to watch something she pouts and tells me it’s stupid. She also pouts and storms to her room and the house feels dark.


I take her everywhere her appointments, stores it’s constant. I can’t have other family members or friends visit she complains about them. I fill out paperwork if she needs something.


I feel like I wish I can move out. I can’t take it anymore. She has made horrible financial decisions in her life and I feel like I’m paying for this now. She was a horrible mother when I was growing up but I’m over that I forgave her. Right now she is with her sister and I call this time my vacation but they will be bringing her back this weekend. I feel so guilty especially since her other daughter wants nothing to do with her. I honestly can’t take this caregiver role, I have two kids that have health issues and need me. My husband needs me. I’m sorry this comment sounds jumbled with run on sentences but she really sets me off and I feel guilty for feeling this way.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing

8 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
@97yroldmom it began when dad passed away and she was only 48. She started with wine and now she sneaks whiskey. In my house we only have wine or beer occasions only so we rarely drink and she knows I don’t allow it here only like once if even twice a year. This She needs her drink all the time though.
(1)
Report
Why would your mom have to sneak a drink?
(0)
Report
her hand has a small tremor and her doctor said that’s the beginning of Parkinson. She went to her sisters to give us a break (she knows I’m very depressed) and also to visit her other sick sister. My sister has cut all ties with us. She moved and is not sharing her new address. I took her in because she’s my mom and my sister broke her heart. I have told her “mom you can walk, talk, hear right now. You need to find whatever makes you happy timing is short.” But nope she would rather sneak drinks. Make me miserable
(1)
Report
Your mother has Parkinson's Disease, is that right?

Can you call your aunt and see if your mother can stay a bit longer? Your aunt can explain to her that there's a plumbing crisis or something like that.

You and your husband can then use the next few days to find out about alternative options for your mother. If she has no assets to speak of and is low income, then the options will be fairly basic, I expect - but that's not your fault and it's not your problem.

Your mother will still be better off coping as an independent unit, because that way she won't end up estranged from both daughters. Just get the ball rolling.
(6)
Report
Some cities like mine has low income housing for seniors. I would contact your local Area Agency on Aging and Department of Human and Family Services and see what services she can get.

Good luck!
(3)
Report
Why did you take her in? What were you expecting? Why has her sister taken her on for your 'vacation'? At 69, your mother should be responsible for her own life and finding somewhere else to live. Perhaps the most positive approach would be to call a meeting of you, your sister, her sister, and anyone else relevant in family or friends. Say that you cannot continue to have her live with your family in your house, but you are concerned about simply putting her out on the street. Ask for ideas, and share around the tasks involved in finding somewhere for her to go. If they all say 'put her out on the street', at least you have some backing for what you are going to have to do, even if it is to take her to a homeless shelter.
(0)
Report
Just because she’s kicked out of your sisters doesn’t mean you have to take her. If you want to help her then help her find her own home.
i know this is beyond hard.
(3)
Report
Of course you are worn down. Your hubby and kids have to be your priority. Mom must be an alcoholic? Help mom to find her own housing and get your life back. Start by calling the Area Agency on Aging for help on where to begin. There has to be something out there for her.
(7)
Report
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter