Reasons for care at home...

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As caregivers, there are many different reasons for why we care for our loved ones (esp those with dementia) at home. One primary reason is money. I am curious about the other reasons that make people decide to care for their loved ones at home. I would love to hear from everyone.

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I moved in with my 96 year old Grandma because I promised her I would take care of her years ago. She helped raise and guide me and cared for me throughout my life and now it is my turn. I’m giving up some freedom and independence to do so but it’s the right thing to do by her. It’s not about monetary gains, I pay my own bills and have my own money. It’s about love, putting family first and respect for our elders. It’s also about dignity and the right to live and die at home.
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I took care of my dad who had dementia at his house because I loved him that much. My dad lived in his house for over 50 years. I thought there would be less stress for him and me  being in his own home. He didn't have to adjust to a new environment. My dad would have suffered if we put into a facility. 

My son helped with the caring of my dad. I spent days at my dad's house and my son spent nights. I know I could not have taken care of my dad without my son's help.

He died at home with hospice care after a devastating stroke with his all family being there.
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Anniepeepie: Oh, my...you must have read my mind! My late mother WAS indeed legally blind and so to adapt to some place new, well .....! You're spot on! Thank you.
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I would opt for staying home every time if it is financially possible. Having had experience with three NH in the past year, one for me and 2 for hubby it is a horrible existence. All three were for rehab but they were just beds in a NH with therapy thrown in. Each time a double room with absolutely no room for any personal belongings. Most of the LTC residents seemed to spend their days in chairs in the front hall fast asleep. The first two did not smell but this last one i could barely stand it I almost puked going down the hall. It was poop but seemed to be coming out of the shower room and bathroom both of which were empty. The food has been uneatable in all three places and the last two personal care was lacking.
We chose the this last one because the rehab had a very good re[utation and I certainly was under the impression that rehab and LTC patients were not mixed together. No way no how not true. Mostly you couldn't tell tother from which. Never did discover which hubby's room mate was because he did not utter a word unless his visitors came.
Don't try and do it alone but if somehow you can manage let Mom and Dad stay home.
We are truly blessed because elest daughter has purchased a house for us to live in and is orchestrating the move and will be arranging what ever help we need going forward. Both daughters came and did the great downsizing which started out being very stressful and depressing but by the second day I just let them get on with it. I figured that if they had tossed something out that I really wanted I could easily get another one. Second day there were three extra helpers so I could not watch everyone or check everything that was going into the dumpster. Same with the arrival we will be whisked to DD's house by #2 DD before the movers arrive and stay there a few days till the unpacking is finished and the house arranged. i wonder when we will be allowed to see the house? We did approve it from the pictures and DD is very fussy so i know it will be very nice. We are just so blessed. Just goes to show if you give them a good eductions ad they become successful you more than reap your rewards.
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My mother is 89 with Alzheimer's and my dad is 94. She spent four weeks last year in a nursing home for therapy and it seemed as though my dad went downhill a little. Not to mention that we are giving her so much more care with caregivers unfortunately than what they get in a nursing home. She had a catheter and was put in diapers while there and also developed pneumonia.
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Llamalover47- You brought up an excellent point about comfort zone- and having to adapt. Add to that someone who is legally blind- and put them somewhere new..... !
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Jo2a507 brought up prices for care- The Assisted Living/skilled Nursing care facilities here charge quite a bit more than 7500 a month. I suppose it depends on the level of care needed. In my research, I found it runs minimum 7500 for a basic AL place for someone who only needs checking on every 2 hours or so and is still highly independent.
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Worriedspouse,
I don't believe she knows specifically who I am, but her face lights up when I enter the room. She calls "mama" when she wants me.
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If you take an elder out of a home they've known AS THEIR COMFORT ZONE FOR A LONG TIME, they won't be as easy to adapt, even if at all. My mother knew her home inside and out; you take a person away from that scenario, they would be lost.
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You are not a control freak-you care! There's a difference. I take care of both of my parents at home, they can kinda take care of themselves, but kinda not. They can't scoop cat litter anymore for their 3 cats. Can't fold or put away laundry and my Dad hates to throw anything away, so it's a constant battle of trying to throw stuff out. Mainly papers. My mom is not all there mentally, so you have to watch her take all her meds or she'll say she took them when she didn't. I thank God everyday that we're able to take care of them this far. My Dad still drives, which helps tremendously!
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