He has planted the crops but we don’t know his intentions. He owes her $10,000 for taxes by July and is he going to harvest. Since he has blocked our phone numbers my mom is going to her lawyer to write a certified letter requesting what are his plans. He could leave her high and dry for her mortgage too. We now have to go down every week to cut grass and work on the plumbing and remodel a bathroom. There is no bath that works and no shower. I think her medical bills are going to take the farm but she has the money for her bills. Then my father in law will be moving in with us the middle of July. We have to make a bedroom for him. I am really worried about her she never thought this would happen. I didn’t see him all the time but I know he cared for me I. May never see or speak to him ever again. I made a mistake and went into the shed and I just bawled my eyes out. It was always full of life playing on the tractors and getting our go carts ready for a race. I am just so sad I cry all the time and people don’t understand. I never realized how many good memories I have here, especially my friend who has money and is married to a lawyer. I feel like it’s all my fault everything was fine when I was gone and then in 2015 I moved down there an hour and a half away and took care of my mom. Ulcerated foot there was one day I needed help wrapping it but he was too busy so my 85 year old dad did. My daddy was mad what the h*ll is wrong with our family. She doesn’t even come down, my brother peaks his head in and leaves then it’s on me. I remember my brother was giving dad a present for father's day and he told him I don’t need things, I need a family to come and visit and a hug. That year was what it was but then when my daddy was diagnosed with esophageal cancer and I moved there I never left his side and my brother and I talked on Saturday I took him to radiation or physical therapy and doctor appointment and went to AA meeting. Well my brother called me and for a half hour I had to listen to him tell me what an awful person I was. Everything that was wrong with me how I was a bad daughter, aunt and sister. I was gone 30 years and I come back and cause trouble he didn’t even give me a chance to respond. It ripped my heart out. My brother is 8 years older and we were really close when we were younger he said not to call or text him. I can call the house phone. Well my sister in law told me to stay away from her and her kids so I am not going to do that I am really worried about my mom but she has to protect herself against them and then my father in law moves in with us the middle of july. I just want to stop crying. I am handling it the wrong way. My friend would be sell it and get your mom to assisted living, but farming is in your blood and it’s been in our family 200 years any advice?

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Staffbull, Here what I wrote on your FIRST post to explain your situation better to the other people trying to help you. Our family has two farms, one that my Maternal Great-grandfather homesteaded in the 1880's; and another that my Fraternal Grandmother received as a wedding gift from her father in the 1930's.I tried to post this last night but my computer was acting up.. So here goes. Let me know if I misunderstand your situation:

The farm is a source of INCOME FOR MOM. If she gave the farm to the son, he would NOT have to pay her anything because he would own every bushel of grain that is harvested.

The 10 acres and the house (AKA the acreage) are just that--a house that sits on 10 acres. NO INCOME.

Farm inheritance is a big problem, it is like inheriting a store. What do you do if you don't want to run the store that you inherited but you need the income from it? You rent the store to someone else and have them pay you part of the profits as your source of income.

People who don't want to farm or people who work at other professions (like my family members have), rent out the farm land to someone else and have them farm the land. Many farmers farm between 500 -1000 acres (however, they own only 50% or less of the land that they farm and rent the other 50+ %). Also, many farm families are multi-generational so the farm profits have to be split among 2 or 3 different generations.

"CASH RENT" is when at harvest time (or a couple of months later--Dec or Jan or Feb) the renter, who farmed the land, sells all of the grain-corn, soybeans, wheat, etc. and gives a percentage of the profits to the farm owner.

Or the farm land owner can "SHARE CROP". In other words, the farm owner divides the farm cost with their renter who is doing all of the farm work. At harvest time, the renter puts a certain number of bushels of grain under the farm owner's name at the grain elevator/co-op which he sells and keep all of the profits. Basically the farmer & the farm owner get ONE PAYCHECK PER YEAR and that paycheck has to last all year long.

Whether you "CASH RENT" or "SHARE CROP", as the farm owner, you have to pay all property tax on the farm and farm buildings (house, barn, etc.) along with farm insurance and pivot insurance and, of course, income tax on our percentage of profits. You DO NOT Pay Social Security so you have to pay a Self Employment Tax in place of S.S.

It sounds like the brother was supposed to sell some of the grain from the 2017 harvest and he hasn't sold the grain yet and hasn't paid his Mom her percentage of cash from the 2017 harvest (which she needs to pay the property tax and farm insurance).

Apparently the brother told his Mom that he IS NOT going to farm in 2019. SO he has to send a Certified Letter of Intent Not to Farm to his Mom before August 1st? and his Mom has to "approve" the letter. It is like giving notice of quitting a job. Mom has to find a NEW RENTER to farm her farm land and have him sign a contract by Sept 1st?

I think that the brother is upset that Mom didn't die first as he knows that she will sell the farm to pay for her nursing home care. Mom can sell the farm land and the acerage (the house & 10 acres) separately. The brother SHOULD NOT be putting signs up "For Sale By Owner" on Mom's house because he does not own it. I can understand why Stiffbull is upset. The farm that her family farmed for 200 years most likely will be sold to another family. That is very hard to accept.

Staffbull, I am sorry that you feel that you had to make a different post on a different forum. Do you feel that we don't understand what you are going through? It is hard for people who are not farmers to grasp all of the different requirements and payments that farmers have. I have tried to clarify your FIRST post for them and I hope that is okay with you.

I haven't been able to post anything on your other post until this afternoon as my computer was acting up.

i was actually in therapy for my anorexia and trauma but it’s an hour north my mom is an hour and a half south so i have pretty much have forgotten about myself and of course i am dropping weight very fast my coping skills for the last 39 years has been basically harming myself that i feel like it’s all my fault when i just came down for visits until my parents needed help and then all this happened it’s has gotten worse since daddy died in december 2016 and i am so mad at myself for being so emotional about everything but i did start seeing my old therapist who works on eating disorder too i saw her thursday and it felt good to have my feelings validated and not judged i will be seeing her every week

Staffbull, have you checked out getting therapy for yourself? I think it might do you a lot of good to talk this out with a live person.

Classic maneuver by someone unscrupulous. Isolate elderly parent, alienate them
from other siblings, clean them out. Falsely accusing you is just a ploy to get you
upset so you will be less effective in challenging him and/or to just get you to back off
and go away so he can have it all of the farm and assets for himself.

The creepy thing is when selfish people behave like this, they often convince themselves
of their own lies, so they really believe all the crap they're spewing out.

Time to seek help from a lawyer who specializes in elder care. Find a good one. Get
some support so you go in there dry eyed and business like to present the facts of
the situation.

And sad as it is, prepare yourself that the most expedient thing to do might be to sell
the farm and get your Mom into AL. I've seen the battle over inheritance and assets
play out several times. Once someone behaves like your brother is behaving, there
is usually no reasoning with them. It's their way or the highway.

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