My mom is 88 years old with Alzheimers dementia. She seems to be progressing at a more rapid rate when when diagnosed 2 years ago. I cared for her this weekend while my brother who normal is with her took a break. She was having a bad day and it was exhausting. Demanding, argumentative, busy, needed to follow her so she would not be unsafe, did i say argumentative. Far from the time I have spent with the "old mom" in the past. I was exhausted at the end of the day and feeling a bit guilty about the relief I felt in taking her home.
But she had one of those rare moments of clarity on the ride home and said " I know I am going to get worse, I know I will have to be put in a home or something. i know how hard that will be for you. It's okay if it is too hard for you to come see me like that" Wow, my selfless mother could still break through and worry about the effects of her disease on her children. I will try and remember that conversation when she cannot live at home anymore.
This website/blog is la lifesaver and a source of support