The past few months have been a whirlwind. Mid Feb my 63 year old still working mom went to the ER for abdominal pain. They did a work up and found tumors on CT which they biopsied and sent her home. A week later she was back in the ER with multiple strokes. Left side effected and we found out the masses were cancerous. The on call oncologist thought it was stage IV pancreatic but would need a follow up and scans to confirm.
She was doing well all considering and I got her into a great rehab while I worked on her finances and getting her a new place to live (apartment is a second floor unit stairs only with a lease ending on May).
Then COVID-19. Everything became harder, she got put on lockdown at rehab and her credit was preventing me from getting her a new place. So I adjusted trajectory and started lookin for assisted living. Things were moving, slowly but I was making progress getting her benefits activated.
She was in the facility locked down for 3ish weeks. I got her to oncology and a PET scan scheduled during this. It took extra time because of covid but I made it happen. Then boom.
They called me to let me know she had demanded to go to the ER. Shortness of breath and pain. They did a work up. Embolism in the lungs. Mom stopped talking, stopped asking for essential care and needs. She was unresponsive, wouldn't talk to anybody save yes or no.
Next day her oncologist called (a day early) with the PET scan results... Cancer is everywhere. It's a freight train.
I'm now sitting with her in hospice. 3 days 2 nights in (5 days since she went to the ER). She's still here but is still unresponsive. I'm questioning everything now. I know she wasn't ready for this a month ago. I'm a little broken right now and don't know if I've helped her or harmed her. Is she mad at me? Disappointed?