I know this is specific to caregivers, but what I am about to ask is more understood this way I apologize if this offends it's not meant to be that way. My sister and I are caring for my grandmother, but she's played favorites for years and I am the one she picks on. I told her is she aware of how unfair it is for me to not have a break from taking care of her and she said these two things which made me see she could careless about my burning out "You'll have a break when I am dead" and "If you want to live longer you'll be nice to me". Now she's always been a verbally abrasive an abusive person, but since my grandfather and mother have passed away she's gotten way nastier to people because it's not because she's old when she does not get her way she is verbally abusive to others and even more she'll use religious rhetoric to guilt trip and manipulate. My grandmother is also physically abusive and was this way when I was growing up and now that I am an adult she's tried to stab me and even punching me and hitting me with her cane. I still remember getting hit so hard with one of my grandfathers belts leaving painful welts on my legs that sometimes bled. Now that I am in my early 40s I get people who say I should overlook the abuse and attribute it to her being old when the abuse has been happening for years since I was a child and has gotten worse since I was older. My grandmother actually told me to forget about having children and getting married since nobody wants to marry an old maid. How do you go about maintaining your sanity listening to this kind of nonsense. I also noticed that in the community people turn a blind eye to abuse and mistreatment especially if it's seniors who are the abusers and people just sweep it under the rug saying they're just old when age has nothing to do with abusing people because you're a selfish and self centered jerk. People don't take me seriously when I say I am burning out and to them I am just a lazy, and no good person when I go to work as a caregiver and I have been cursed out and called racial slurs and then I have to come home to the same mess too. Some people have no idea as to how this job can take its toll on you mentally, physically, and financially.