My mother has advanced frontotemporal dementia and is a resident of a memory care unit. She broke her hip in a fall 4 weeks ago. Surgery was successful, as was her rehab. But I honestly regret having her hip fixed.
Why? Because she won't sit the hell still. She's fallen four times since completing rehab. She bolts up out of her wheelchair and falls forward before staff can get to her. Or, she gets out of her bed. Every single we time we hold our breath and hope she's ok and, fortunately, her last three falls she has been okay.
But tonight turned out differently. She has left hip pain. The hip that was operated on. The memory care unit just called me to say they're sending her to the hospital. In the middle of a damn pandemic.
I get it, they need to treat her. But Jeebus Christmas. We live in Massachusetts. 4th largest infection rate in the country. And if that wasn't bad enough, we're in the county that has the most infections out of any other county in the state. I have asthma and am high risk. Earlier this week, the last time she fell, I told the head nurse at memory care that I know mom is difficult to manage but they need to do something because it's going to be a very bad situation if she needs to go to a hospital.
I asked if she could be sedated heavily or restrained. No. They can't do that. So here we are.
Deep down I know this isn't mom's fault. But after a half dozen incidents of this over the past couple months, a hospitalization, a risk surgery, and now this, I want to shake her and scream at her to just sit still, for Christ's sake - she's risking everyone's damn health!
My husband is offering to go to the hospital in my place but he's not her health care proxy. And honestly, he could bring the virus into the house just as easily as anyone else. Guys, I could cry. I don't want to jeopardize my family's health for this. I just don't.