My mother hasn't made a healthy decision for herself in her entire life. She had a bad experience with a dentist once, so she never went to a dentist again - as in, she hasn't seen a dentist in at least 50 yrs? Maybe more? Her teeth over time are literally rotting and falling out of her head. How she has any teeth left is beyond me! She smoked like a chimney (menthol, no less) for decades despite multiple warnings from her doctor. Yet she's managed on a $300/month COPD inhaler for over two decades and she's still chugging away. A disc in her spine failed 20 years ago & the doctor told her surgery was necessary or it would severely pinch a nerve & leave her with pain and mobility issues. She refused the surgery and though she can barely get around - SHE STILL MANAGES! Then came the dementia. When her doctor saw my panic at the diagnosis (knowing what a tremendous caregiver responsibility came with it), the doctor assured me - at her age, and with all her other ailments it was inevitable that she'd start to fall, or lose cognitive functioning rapidly, or have a "heart event." Moral of the story: Don't worry. Your mom is going to require hospitalization followed by direct transfer to a nursing home in no time. But, nope. Instead she's here. In my house. On the list for a memory care unit, yes. But as she's not quite deemed an urgent case, placement is taking FOREVER. And I know how this all sounds. I sound like an ungrateful daughter that doesn't want to be burdened by her elderly mother. But here's the thing. This is a borderline personality disorder'ed woman (legit diagnosed - won't take her meds or see a shrink), that I've had to watch over and care for MY. ENTIRE. ADULT. LIFE. She hasn't made a single wise decision for her health. I haven't seen her put a single healthy food option into her mouth. Everything the medical community states as a precaution, she's snubbed her nose at. And ya know what? Lately I think she's going to outlive us all and me, the one making sure to get 10 cups of leafy greens, vitamins, minerals and plenty of water into each day - I'm the one that's going to drop dead. And she'll be here. Still shuffling along with a cigarette in one hand and a donut in the other. *Sigh*
You always have great and sound advice.
If at any time she has a health emergency and winds up in the ER, do not bring her home. Explain that you cannot care for her. They will need to find a place for her.