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Mom hasn't said her name in ages nor mine; don't know exactly when this slipped away. Someone suggested that when I visit my mom at the NH which I do every day for long periods since I got laid off, that I introduce myself. So when I arrive I say hi mom, I am your daughter Suzanne. Later in the day I say it again. Last night while walking the halls, I stopped and turned to her, looked into her beautiful blue eyes and said, hi mama, I am your daughter Suzanne. She softly said: "susanne." she smiled as did I. I melted.

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What a beautiful moment for you to keep in your heart always. My mom had to be sedated at the end, but up to then she was alert and knew all of us. I want to share this with you about my uncle. He and I were very close. His wife died several years before he did. He had two sons, one out of town and one out of state, so when he had to go into a nursing home after suffering a stroke that left him unable to speak, I looked after him. When the doctor told me he only had a short while to live, I called his sons immediately. Unfortunately, he was unconscious when they got there. Larry, the one from out of state, (had not seen his dad for close to a year) came and he and I stayed with his dad for several days. I left one night and while I was gone, he opened his eyes just for a couple of seconds and smiled at Larry. He called me and said that the Lord given him a gift. When he told me what happened, I cried and cried. The Lord is so good to us. God bless you and your mom.
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Precious memory for you. She knows you forever in her heart.
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You will always remember these precious moments. Take Care
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I know and understand all of the nasty things a mother can and will do to try to make a child suffer. You put your Mom in the home to help her and you too.
All I'm trying to say here is that she remembered your name and her own for just a glimmering moment. Why not remember it as a tender moment of recollection between a mother and daughter and leave it at that. We can all analyze this and attribute it to disease and yada yada yadada. Just leave all that behind and allow that moment to remain as a tender moment between a mother and daughter.to sooth a suffering soul. That is what I would want do. and did do with the last conversation I had with my abusive husband before he died of a heart attack years ago.
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Docketer, nothing will make the way your mother is treating you now feel good. But it may hurt less if you understand her disease more fully.

She wants to go home to her mother. Obviously she is young in her own mind (at least sometimes.) She could not possibily have a daughter as old as you! Why, you look older than she thinks she is! You are an imposter and you are tricking her and she wants her mommy!!! How terribly sad and confusing and frightening it must be to live in her mind. (It's no picnic for you, either, and I'm not trying to make light of your very real and justified anguish, Docketer. I'm just reminding you to put the blame where it belongs -- on the disease.)

I certainly hope the nursing home will prove to be mostly comfortable place for her and she'll settle into a routine that includes less hostility.

A book that you might find helpful is "Creating Moments of Joy" by Jolene Brackey. It is especially applicable to caregivers whose loved ones have Alzheimer's and are in a care center.
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Something is triggering in her mind; i was thinking what you were thinking and not to tell her you are the daughter....ican't say my mom knows I am her daughter but she does know I am someone special that she can hug and kiss. I am so sorry you are having this happen to you. If only we could get into their minds. Just be ugh a caregiver? and maybe she'll say nice things to you about her daugher.
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That sounds wonderful but many times my Mom doesn't think I'm her daughter and gets angry when I say I am - and if she knows I'm her daughter, she bitches at me about not taking her home TO HER MOTHER WHO IS DECEASED - for not doing more for her - telling me I've robbed her and don't feed her and I want to put her away, etc. etc.

Two weeks in a nursing home now and I AM HOPING she doesn't know I'm her daugther when I go today to see her - oh my AM I WRONG IN THAT THOUGHT HERE?.

I actually don't want her to remember me as she is actually filled with loathing for me, her daughter, her only caregiver. In her right mind many years ago, she asked for us to sign papers for me to be in charge of her medical and all business, etc. when she got old and forgetful, etc. - I try to remember, she really wanted this at one time instead of the ACCUSATIONS she now throws at me.
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What a beautiful little but momentous story! Lots of hugs for you and your Mom too. I wish all the best, you are in God's hands with the Angels watching all the time. - Sue
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How beautiful, thank you for sharing.... hugs
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Aw, that had to have made your day a little brighter. Great suggestion to share with us here, and then to let us know it actually worked, too. Awesome!
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Precious! Thanks for sharing.
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