My 92 yr old mom has had a pretty rough time of it. She was severely depressed when she moved here to IL from the coast to be close to me. Fell 1/1/17, hospital, psychiatric diagnosis, skilled nursing, long term nursing at the same facility, psychiatric hospital, new nursing home, memory care unit. Shortly after she moved there, they tried a 3 day day program, but it wasn't handled really well, either by mom or the administration. Now she's out in general population for lunch and dinner every day, doing well. One big problem the staff has mentioned is her intense impatience, for getting back to her room after meals, having her bed made after nap, turn the channel when the tv show is over, etc. It's noticeable, but she doesn't remember talking about it with us. The staff had a meeting on my request about moving her out to general, but i never got a phone call on the result of their discussion. Today, I spoke to the social worker again, she said she would call a meeting again. I asked her to get in touch with me with the results and she said, "Well, I know where your mom gets her impatience from." i asked what was the result of the last meeting they had, and she told me they didn't feel it was a good idea. "Did your mom remember why it didn't work last time, so she can do better?" I thought, wow, it was almost 3 months ago, how could she?? Other things were said, but i think that shows they don't have hope for her to move there and don't understand her enough to help her transition. Mom's still intelligent, bad memory, but quite cognizant. The people in the MC literally get in her face a lot, push her wheelchair, because she's verbal and responds (to tell them to go away). Long story here, sorry. She was put in memory care because of escape behavior during her psychotic break. That's not happening anymore. She still gets delusional, but they don't overtake her. Moving is hard on her. I've been through all the homes before, but am thinking of looking at them again. I don't think i'm wrong about her. i know she has problems somewhat different than a straight AZ or D person, but she's not that bad!!!

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A quick update here. The situation changed when a resident took a 'walk' outside and almost made it to the highway nearby. Since we had been talking about moving mom to the general area for the last month, and with mom expressing a desire to be in the other section, she and the exploring resident changed beds and locations. You are right that any change or transition is very difficult! I'm hoping that as time passes, she'll become more comfortable and used to the new bed and wing, but I can also see her not being happy or content with anything- 'somewhere else' will always be better. Thanks for the support of this group. I read something everyday that helps me to help her!

Bookish, the escape and elopement behavior is very difficult. It is impossible to know when or if she will try again. A secure unit is to keep her safe. The anxiety of returning to her room after meals is what I would consider normal. Perhaps she would do better if she remained in memory care for meals, not as much a transition for her. That was done with my mom because of the anxiety she had when returning to memory care after being in the common dining room for meals. It is a time of rapid changes for the elderly, it is very difficult to impossible to have smooth transitions. Each move causes further decline.

bookish66, I am moving your post back to the front page. Hopefully someone familiar with this can help you with suggestions.

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