Mom 93 years old stubborn, anger, general meanness lives in FL. After 4-5 major falls, hospitals, rehabs, ambulance calls etc I've got my mom in a SNF and can get transitioned to Long-Term care bed... So now she is calling attorneys to get her out of there and I'm bracing that this is far from not over.. Feel guilty about all this now,, did I do the correct thing? The last part of her life she is going to be just devastated...

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I agree, let Mom call a lawyer. And if he agrees with Mom let him take over her care and set everything up so she can live on her own. But...that won't happen. He will read her evaluation and agree she needs to be there. Stand firm that you can't care for her.

Dear jlm,

I know how that feels. Even though our parents are in their 80s and 90s it sometimes hard to be the adult child making the decisions. You made this choice of out love and concern for her safety. Its not easy I know, but it had to be done. Like freqflyer said, try to hold your ground. No one ever imagines getting to this phase of life and its hard to accept all around.

Jlm, you did the right thing, even though you are having those guilt feelings. Think of it this way, Mom is now in a skilled nursing facility which has either 2 or 3 shifts of employees to help look after her. Yes, she will probably fall in there as that is what happens when some people get much older. They can drop in a blink of an eye.

Let Mom call 100 Attorneys if she wants. If the Attorney calls the nursing facility and speaks with Admin, the Attorney will quickly find out why your Mom is there, end of story.

Some elders adjust really well in senior care, others don't. My Mom would have been as mad as a hornet if she was clear minded enough to realize she was in long-term-care, she thought she was in a hotel. My Dad was the opposite, he was happy to move into senior care and loved at the attention :)

I see from your profile that your Mom health issues are mainly of her falling. Did she have caregivers at home? I have a feeling she didn't. My own Mom [98] chased the caregivers out of the house on the 3rd day. Dad was happy they were helping.

It's a tough decision, you want Mom to be happy, but you also want her to be safe, since you live 1,000 miles away. Stand firm. Tell Mom she doesn't have a choice. Well, actually she does if she can budget professional caregivers to be with her at home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It's very expensive. My Dad did that for awhile at $20k per month. Yikes !! And your Mom cannot fire them. But she probably would.

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