i don't know what came first but my mom got hit with a double whammy. her memory is horrible, movement is slow but okay. doesn't fix herself anything to eat, says she isn't hungry but will eat if we give her food, forgets what to do in the shower, doesn't pick out clothes, can talk fine but can't really remember past 5 minutes at best. my parents moved in with me recently. the worst part right now is that she has frequent urinary accidents. then, once she pees, even though we finally got her to wear depends most of the time, she doesn't seem to realize she did it and doesn't change. the urine soaks right through the depends many times and her pants are all stained. she doesn't notice that either. its becoming much more frequent. i know they make medicine but what good will it do if she doesn't know to change. we don't have an aide yet because my dad is very slow getting out of denial and they have no money but his frustration is getting out of control and he is yelling at her all the time to change or go take care of herself. last night she wet the bed because she forgot to put a depends on and he went off yelling at her. he awakened my husband, who has to get up for work in the middle of the night and that became frustrating for him. i feel bad for my dad and can't imagine what he is going through but i can't stand him treating her like that either. i don't know how to help. I am still raising my own children, working and juggling my marriage and life. it's getting more difficult to live with them. she is peeing all over my house which obviously smells and he is yelling at her all the time. I want him to seriously think about assisted living so they can get everything they need but he won't hear of it at this point. I'm stuck and don't know what to do.