My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s 6 years ago and last year with cancer. My dad is surprisingly in ok health. They are both 70. I have a sister. We all live in different cities each 5 hrs away. My mom is starting to progress from early stages to moderate stages of the disease. Most medicine no longer work and her motor symptoms interfere with her daily life. I’ve also noticed cognitive changes for a few years. My parents are both clearly scared and in denial and are down playing what’s going on to other family and friends. I work in the medical field and see the signs and symptoms and am worried she will need additional care sooner than anyone wants to admit. After my mom was diagnosed, my parents said they were going to plan to move somewhere with a better climate but unsure where. They've told my wife and I for years they are considering our city. Which has good healthcare options, cheap housing, and lots of resources in the community for elderly and those with PD. They also explicitly stated they didn’t want to move to where my sister lives as my sister hates it there and plans to move when she and her partner can both get jobs elsewhere. The town is very small without good healthcare or any infrastructure. The last few years we have watched my dad make questionable financial decisions and they have told us they haven’t planned future care needs since they are still healthy, and have said things that show they have no clue about the limitations of Medicare, cost of care, or eligibility rules for other options. My parents always vowed to not put us in the same situation my grandparents put them in and recently they’ve been saying things to allude we are headed that way. I’m concerned they aren’t thinking far enough in the future. We talked to a friend who is a licensed financial advisor and he agreed this was all concerning. I’m not even 30, my wife younger. We are building our careers and starting our own family. When the time comes we won’t be in a place to care for them or to financially support them. I’m concerned about my parents well being but even more so I know I need to protect my family and our future. My sister is older, a free spirit, not always dependable or responsible, and has also indicated she wants to move out west, so that would leave us no matter where my parents end up as the closest. Last time they were here I asked them to consider talking to someone about the future. My parents were dismissive but would think about it. A month later I asked if they had thought about it and my mom told me my dad was resistant. So I reached out to him and he said he is fully open to talking and would even sit down with someone next time they visit if I set it up. While all of this is going on my sister gives birth to her first child. After they went to visit the grandbaby, they call to say they couldn’t bear to leave and were considering moving there. It shocked me and I told her the plan concerned me based on lack of healthcare and my sister not wanting to stay and if there only pull was the baby they might want to think other factors. They said good care is 2 hours away and they will drive there for all doctors visits. And they were okay with my sister leaving. That this may be 5-10 years and they don’t think it’s their final stop. So moving when they are 75-80? We didn’t talk about it after that and 5 weeks later we get a call that they put an offer on a house. Just 3 weeks before they were to sit down with the financial advisor I called. I found out they told my sister 6 weeks ago that they weren’t considering moving but for sure moving there. She helped set them up with a real estate agent etc. I am hurt how this played out. We would be thrilled if there appeared to be thought and they were organized otherwise. But that's not what happened. My sister said she won’t leave town until my parents do make a plan or make sure my parents move near us. So to us it feels like everyone knows my parents care will be my responsibility in the end. It feels like a slap in the face. Like we want to spend our golden years with your sister and her kids and when we need caregivers we want you to shoulder this mess. I was honest and told them I thought it was a bad idea and the reasons why and what the professionals have said. They talked down at me, were angry and defensive, and told me I was controlling and jealous of my sister and niece. At this point I am at a complete loss. I asked my parents to give me space which my mom has refused to do. I dont want this to end my relationship with my parents but I struggle to see how to come back from this without pretending everything is fine and consequently my wife and kids and I pay the price down the road either by still having to care for them and pick up the pieces or be at odds with my sister and walk away. This sucks. I really don’t know what to do.