Found in some posts two years ago, that for us, who did caretaking process for years, putting Mom or Dad in NH does not relieve any stress. "Still there was no peace, constantly running, checking the phone for messages and jumping out of my skin when the phone did ring. ..." How to deal with that? I think for me was much easier when mom was at home and although I realize that in her now conditions (dementia, dysphagia, feeding tube) I cant take care of her at home, my stress is even worse. Hard to see here life miserable and can't make any decision to stop it. She has DNR, but nobody is telling me she is dying, it's just hard to see her in such conditions...unable to eat, not much walking (she was very active home, but after intubation and all that medical intervention, aspiration pneumonia), she's weak and not much understanding of whats happening, although knows me and kids....Days, month, years, who knows, my heart is just breaking apart. Tell your experiences, how you deal with that?