Isn't it funny how when your parent comes to live with you all your friends scatter.

Manohardy's daughter I admire you so much for sharing these stories about you father and I so hope you will stick around our little group-this is amazing to me that you want to share his life with us-there is so much that we do not understand about how our brains work and I am fascinated about what you have shared with us who got a glimpse of you Dad.

It doesn't have to follow. A lot depends on circumstances. We always had at least one grandparent live with us and that didn't change how my parents related to their friends. As for me in my circumstance with my mother, I moved from Maryland to Connecticut and had to leave my friends behind. We still exchange emails occasionally even if visiting is not generally viable. Although, one couple who are among my very best friends had to pass through CT and we did get together (and go hiking at Sleeping Giant!) a couple years ago. On the other hand, by going to a support group once a month I am making connections with people in similar circumstances and as they support me emotionally I am able to support them the same way.

PCVS I am glad you have been able to make connections with others but most caregivers do not have the energy or time to develope friendships apart from caregiving.

195Austin, it wasn't about time or energy. I generally don't have either one, but sanity demanded I go to a local support group and so I did. There are several volunteer groups that will sit with your parent so you can go do things like this. It's once a month but it means a lot. Plus the local VNA (well, one of them) has a volunteer who will call you or let you call to keep you in contact with someone who understands. Then, there is this forum. Are you not connecting with people here? I did not say these were deep relationships, merely ones that exist. Time is definitely not something I have in abundance but I am doing my best to look for things - such as the support group. Anyway, what's wrong with support group friendships. That's what I was trying to emphasize. Yes, I am lucky that I can email my distant friends. But I don't actually get to see them more than once at most in the last 6 years. It's not a lot but it isn't abandonment either.

Everything takes energy. Be resigned to the fact that you won't have much of a social life - maybe not any. Kind of like grad school, actually. To get out of the trap of isolation we must seek respite we might not otherwise utilize. Of course it's sometimes going to be next to impossible. I have this experience myself. This is where support groups come in. Call your area agency on aging, your local Alzheimers Association. Seek out the help I am telling you is there.

If you're looking for the kind of socializing you had before, you will be disappointed. Look for an alternative.